Don’t get me wrong.
Anything that Wenger does that isn’t sitting on the sideline, furrowed brow, all forlorn…
…or impersonating a sleeping bag struggling to (un)zip itself…
…is fine by moi.
Getting in the face of the sh*t-lipped (why else would he be permanently sneering?) Mourinho…
or venting his ire on inanimate objects…
– these little acts of rebellion give us a glimpse of the passion that lurks within Arséne.
There is a rebel inside of Arséne, for sure. But
sometimes often most times, that rebellion seems to be misdirected.
To the uneducated eye (mine):
…going full-semaphore to complain about time wasting…
… or acting out your favourite Monty Python sketch in response to a needless goal conceded…
… are examples of energy which could (perhaps) be directed more effectively at waking up your players, who seem to have pitched up for the game half-asleep. Again.
But pushing a match official…? Especially after being sent off a few moments earlier for calling said match official (and his accomplices) a cheat..??
That’s not particularly smart – for a man with thirteen degrees, who speaks eleventeen languages, and has been around the block more times than the pavement.
Wenger should know that the FA has him permanently in its ‘scope. Handbags with Anthony Taylor in the Emirates tunnel was not the wisest choice of action for our rebel of a manager.
Which is what inspired this (tasteful) portrait – which I am calling:
Arséne Wenger: Rebel Without A Clue
Hopefully Wenger’s silliness doesn’t earn him a ten-match stadium ban.
I doubt he’d fit into a laundry basket (like that sniveling twat, José).
I was eleven-and-a-half. My family had just emigrated from Rhodesia to South Africa. All the kids on my street supported United or Liverpool, because of their Southern African goalkeeper connections: Bailey for United and Grobbelaar for ‘Pool. Problem was: I didn’t like the colour red – so when FA Cup Final day came around in 1979, I supported the team in yellow, even though their name sounded like “Asshole”. At the final whistle, I had bragging rights and a team that had won my heart.
Then I discovered that the Gunners also wore red. Luckily, I remained loyal, and the Arsenal has kicked my heart around ever since… (apart from a few lost years in the ’90s and early ’00s, when I was busy doing grownup things as a composer in Hollywood).
Abandoned invinciblog.com to launch this site with 1 Nil Down 2 One Up blogfather Dave Seager – and we have used this platform to help launch the writing careers of a number of amazing Arsenal bloggers.