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Breaking: FA Introduces Revolutionary New Rules to Stop The Arsenals Continuing Dark Arts

In a hastily arranged press conference held somewhere between PGMOL HQ and Howard Webb’s safe room, the FA unveiled its boldest reform yet: a package of emergency laws specifically designed to prevent Arsenal from winning football matches via set pieces and, even worse, taking their time over them. “Enough is enough,” sighed one FA official, […]

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Arsenal Celebrate St. Totteringham’s Day on March 1st. Scientists Confirm It’s Still Winter

In a development that statisticians are describing as “FRANKly offensive to Tottenham Hotspur,” Arsenal have secured St Totteringham’s Day on 1 March 2026, the earliest North London coronation since the tradition took shape over a century ago.  Historians of the rivalry note that this is the latest twist in a feud that has bubbled since […]

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