Menu

Have we bought Lemar yet?

Have we bought Lemar yet?

This is one of those completely off the wall blog ideas, the seed of which was planted by the phrase – “Have we bought Lemar yet?” A phrase that for some obscure reason brought to mind, well my mind at least, the equally annoying question, often posed by children in the back of a car, perhaps on a long journey to a summer holiday destination, at this time of year – “Are we nearly there yet?” The resulting nonsense goes something like this…

..

Setting the scene with Arsenal mad kids (or impatient Twitter Gooners) in the back of a car on their way to the holiday. Dad, also obviously a more mature Arsenal fan, who has been there before is trying to keep a lid on it!

Dad, have we bought Lemar yet?

No boys but I think maybe we will soon.

10 minutes later..

Dad, have we bought Lemar yet?

No boys but let’s hope Arsene goes back with a higher bid.

10 Minutes later

Dad, have we bought Lemar yet?

Still no boys but we may not need him if Alexis is staying.

10 minutes later

Dad have we bought Lemar yet?

Boys it is a long way to the end of the Transfer Window journey so can we change the subject?

Boy 1 – But Dad it is such a Seri long journey

Boy 2 – Yes Dad, such a Seri Seri long journey

Boy 3 – Yes Dad is such Seri Seri Seri long way to go

.Image result for seri arsenal .

I know it is hard to be patient lads so why don’t we play a game. How about 20 Questions?

Okay Dad – The boys decided to confer on the subject

Ready Dad

Ok are you animal, vegetable or mineral?

Animal Dad

Okay are you alive?

Yes Dad

Do you live in the UK?

No Dad

What colour are you?

Black Dad

Are you a family pet or domestic animal?

No Dad

I see, so are you large?

Yes, huge Dad

So a large black animal. Mmmmm, are you a Panther?

No Dad

Are you an African Elephant?

Don’t be silly Dad, they are grey not black

Ok, have you got four legs?

No Dad

Mmmm, perhaps you are a Black Mamba

No Dad, we have got legs

Ah a clue, so you might be a bird then. Are you a stork?

No Dad (giggles)

Are you an Emperor Penguin?

No Dad, come on they are half white anyway

I am on the wrong track here aren’t I?

Yes, you are Dad

You are a human aren’t you?

Yes Dad, finally!

So you are a black human and you don’t live in the UK?

Yes Dad, well not at present

Do you live in Europe somewhere?

Yes Dad

PENNY DROPS

Do you want this person to come to the UK?

Yes please Dad!

Oh, for crying out loud, are you Wiliam Carvalho?

Haha Yes Dad, took you long enough

.Image result for william carvalho arsenal .

You boys are utterly obsessed. We are going on holiday, so can you not just take a break from Arsenal for the rest of the journey please?

Alright Dad

Why don’t we play a different game where even you boys cannot divert it to Arsenal? How about Eye Spy?

Okay Dad

The boys again confer and titter amongst themselves…

Dad. Are you ready?

Yes lads

The eldest son as spokesman announces.. I spy with my little eye something beginning with VVD

For God’s sake boys you cannot see Virgil van Dijk from this car window

We can Dad there is a picture of him on the back of your newspaper you bought on the ferry.

.Image result for van dijk arsenal .

I have had it up to here boys. We are not buying Virgil because Arsene has faith in his current players in the new secure three-man defence. Now that is the end of it. I am not playing any more games with you three. I think you better just play FIFA on you PS Vitas and stop bothering me.

The excited boys, after playing a bit f FIFA, all with Lemar in their team, fall asleep..

An hour or so later –  Dad, have we bought Lemar yet?

You know what boys I think we just might have!

, , , ,

One Response to Have we bought Lemar yet?

  1. SharkeySuresGhost July 26, 2017 at 3:51 pm #

    Loved it…. 🙂

Your thoughts?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Powered by WordPress. Designed by WooThemes

%d bloggers like this: