Is Mustafi the best of the worst in Arsenal’s Rich Pantheon of poor Defenders?

The best of the worst of the rest?

I have been a bit quiet on the site over the last month or so. Manic work schedule and a well-earned holiday have restricted my output.

So on Sunday night, I finally found a bar in Khao Lak showing the game and, to be fair, I should have stayed in the hotel by the pool.


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Yes, he had a typically awful game and yes, the Arsenal Twitterati are in full vent mode, but is Mustafi really the worse defender to don the Red and White.

To try and provide some perspective, I decided I’d do some research into Gooners who have stunk out the back four, to see if Mustafi is the best of the worst or worst of the rest.

In no particular order the other three main contenders for the crown were:


Igor Stepanovs:



He bumbled around the back like an evil genius’s lab assistant, always getting in the way. His crowning glory was that fateful day at Old Trafford, god rest our souls.


Gus Caesar:



Gus was defined by one moment in time and Nick Hornby puts it much eloquently than me (obviously). “Caesar leaves it late, but when the ball is knocked into the box seven minutes from time, he miss-kicks so violently that he falls over; at this point he looks like somebody off the street who has won a competition to appear as a centre-half in a Wembley final, and not like a professional footballer at all”

The Littlewoods Cup Final against Luton 1988.


Andres Santos: 


International my arse

A Brazilian International left back (???). who just could not defend and spent the majority of his time past the half way line, at a time when we needed a full back, not a wing back. Then there was the half time shirt swap with RVP, which just made him look a tit.


With all that said, none of the above cost £35m (number 5 on the all-time transfer record), none of the above are having a serious effect on this seasons #StumbleToTheFinishLine and none of the above are giving me a bloody heart attack every time the ball in within 5 yards of them.

Therefore, in conclusion, Mustafi may not be technically the poorest defender, but, the cumulative effect of his transfer fee, his reputation and effect he has on the team, in my humble opinion, makes him the worst of the worst.

Auf wiedersehen Shko(ing)dran


Editors note – I am sure you will all have your own personal favourite defensive flops, so why not let us know in the comments 🙂

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