Messi will sign for The Arsenal……..after these 10 things happen 

Messi will sign for The Arsenal……..after these 10 things happen 

So, apparently Messi has had enough and has handed in a transfer request and obviously, The Arsenal have been linked with him !?!?!?!?

The latest odds provided by YouWontLoseYourMoneyWithUs.com, have The Arsenal at 1,000,000,000 to 1 to sign Lionel, so I thought I’d look at a few things that are more likely to happen.

1- Being crushed by a meteor: 

Odds 700,000 to 1

Re-enacting Armageddon.

2- Dying in a plane crash: 

Odds 1,000,000 to 1

Don’t call me Shirley

3- Becoming President of the USA: 

Odds 10,000,000 to 1. 

I mean, any idiot can do that job.

4- Dying from being a left-handed person misusing right-handed products:

Odds 7,000,00 to 1

Yes, apparently it’s a thing which afflicts 45 Americans a year.

5- Becoming an astronaut

Odds: 12,000,000 to 1

It’s a space oddity

6- Losing an arm in a chainsaw accident

Odds: 4,500 to 1

Never touching chainsaw again

7-Being wrongfully convicted of a crime

Odds:4,000 to 1

8-Death by hot tap water

Odds: 5,000,000 to 1

9- Going to hospital with a Pogo stick related injury 

Odds: 120,000 to 1

It’s suddenly 1982 again!!

#10- Being possessed by Satan

Odds: 7,000 to 1

“The power of Christ compels you”

So I guess we are signing Messi next week then 😉

.

Steve Wellman

English by birth, Australian by choice. Traffic Engineer, Arsenal ST Holder, Sun DreamTeam Winner, Writer on @GunnersTown, Depeche Mode, Welcome to my world…