In an act of selfless generosity to football’s most vulnerable oil-backed institution, Arsenal bravely lost to Aston Villa, officially confirming that Manchester City are, unfortunately, champions again. Experts have described Arsenal’s performance as “a decisive intervention to protect City from the emotional hardship of finishing second.” Club insiders confirmed that Arsenal’s 1/3 of a season-long […]
Based on a true parody, updated from the original 2017 parody. Names have been changed to protect the guilty!! Something to lighten mood before the serious business at 4.30 Sunday afternoon or 3.30 Monday morning, depending on your view. Saturday 7.30am ‘Arry the Spud’s alarm clock kicks in to TalkShite’s daily breakfast phone in ‘Why […]
56,500 were in attendance to the only recorded moment in history when fans, management and players pleaded for VAR to be clear and obvious. At mid-day, deep in the control room at Stockley Park, a lonely VAR official put on his headset,and settled in for his afternoon shift. Chelski went 1-0 up after 9 minutes […]
Arsenal beat Brighton 2–0 at the Emirates, and eventually, it was the kind of calm, confident performance that makes you start Googling “how to emotionally prepare for a possible title run.” Goals? Delicious. Possession? Dominant. Brighton? To the most part, harmless. But let’s address the glaring issue: no set-piece goals. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Has Nicolas […]
And so we are back to normal programming, everything is right with the world, Neo took the correct pill and the system has been rebooted. Gary Neville has toed the party line and laid into Arsenal’s set-piece coach, Nicolas Jover, again: (Sky Sports) “I called him the most annoying man in football recently and I’m […]
Laurence Fishburne visited me last night and I think I took the wrong pill. (Photo credit:Warner Bros) When I woke this morning everything was wrong. Everything I read was wrong, Everything I saw was wrong. It was like everyone else wasn’t following their programming. Ex United and Chelsea players were saying complementary things about Arsenal!!!! […]
Available – Large, spacious, apartment, all be it, gloomy and dark. Single view outlook. Slight odour of bitterness and sour grapes. Current tenant noisy and winey. Location: Jamie O’Hara’s head. Price – Rent Free Again, TalkSports resident village idiot, is off on one of his, one eyed, Middlesex tinted rants. This time, Jamie O’Hara claims […]
Following yesterday’s game vs Fulham, my man on the inside at Stockley Park sent me the deliberation notes from Saka’s penalty review. VAR Official 1: “We’ve got a possible penalty here — Saka’s been clipped.” VAR Official 2: “Clipped? Hmm. Are you sure that wasn’t just the wind off the Thames?” VAR Official 3: “Hold […]
Over the past few seasons, Arsenal have been ‘bantered’ for finishing second and previously given seriously stick for Arsene’s misunderstood ‘Top 4 Trophy’ statement. As Arsenal fans, we live with this, knowing that 2nd is where the other 90 teams would love to be and Arsene was being realistic when stating that Champions League qualification […]
The new rule that was implemented at the beginning of the season, is not working out how it is supposed to, Liverpool are livid and are now pushing for it to be changed. I am off course talking about the ‘PGMOL/Liverpool Added Time Rule’ and it all came to a head at the weekend, when […]
