If Carlsberg did Football transfers…..
As 2017 comes to an end, I was preparing my annual Arsenal synopsis, but I thought, nah, there will be loads of them out there and to be fair, we all know the executive summary;
‘Must try harder and have greater consistency to meet minimum standards’.
I thought I’d try and do something a bit different.
So, as this was the year the of the mental transfer market, here is;
‘If Carlsberg Did Football Transfers’ FC
In Goals:
Ederson – Benfica to Man City – €40m ‘Pep’s second attempt to replace Joe Hart’
Right back:
Kyle Walker – Spurs to Man City – €51m ‘Really?How much?’
Centre backs:
Davidson Sanchez – Ajax to Spurs – €49m ‘Got to spend the Walker money somewhere?’
Victor Lindelöf – Benfica to Man Utd – €35m ‘Another bus driver’
Left back:
Benjamin Mendy – Monaco to Man City – €58m ‘How much more can City spend on full backs?’
Right wing:
Bernardo Silva – Monaco to Man City – €50m ‘Will to last player to leave Monaco, please turn out the lights’
Centre mids:
Gylfi Sigursson – Swansea to Everton – €50m ‘21st June 2016. I’ll just leave this here’
Nemanja Matic- Chelsea to Man Utd – €45m ‘Maureen really, really loves this guy’
Left wing:
Neymar – Barca to PSG – €220m ‘The FFP don’t apply to PSG’
Up top:
Kylian Mbappe – Monaco to PSG – €180m ‘No, really, PSG are exempt from the FFP’
Romelu Lukaku – Everton to Man Utd – €85m ‘Honestly, I’m not scared of The Zlatan’
On the Bench:
Jordan Pickford – €29m
Antonio Rudiger – €35m
Danilo – €30m
Tiemoue Bakayoko -€40m
Paulinho-€40m
Ousmane Dembele – €105m
Alvaro Morata – €62m
Total cost: €1.204 BILLION
Great going forward, suspect at the back….sounds all a bit to familiar to me.
English by birth, Australian by choice. Traffic Engineer, Arsenal ST Holder, Sun DreamTeam Winner, Writer on @GunnersTown, Depeche Mode, Welcome to my world…
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