If Carlsberg did Football Transfers……

If Carlsberg did Football transfers…..

As 2017 comes to an end, I was preparing my annual Arsenal synopsis, but I thought, nah, there will be loads of them out there and to be fair, we all know the executive summary;

‘Must try harder and have greater consistency to meet minimum standards’.

I thought I’d try and do something a bit different.

So, as this was the year the of the mental transfer market, here is;

‘If Carlsberg Did Football Transfers’ FC

In Goals:

Ederson – Benfica to Man City – €40m ‘Pep’s second attempt to replace Joe Hart’

Right back:

Kyle Walker – Spurs to Man City – €51m ‘Really?How much?’

Centre backs:

Davidson Sanchez – Ajax to Spurs – €49m ‘Got to spend the Walker money somewhere?’

Victor Lindelöf – Benfica to Man Utd – €35m ‘Another bus driver’

Left back:

Benjamin Mendy – Monaco to Man City – €58m ‘How much more can City spend on full backs?’

Right wing:

Bernardo Silva – Monaco to Man City – €50m ‘Will to last player to leave Monaco, please turn out the lights’

Centre mids:

Gylfi Sigursson – Swansea to Everton  – €50m ‘21st June 2016. I’ll just leave this here’

Nemanja Matic- Chelsea to Man Utd – €45m ‘Maureen really, really loves this guy’

Left wing:

Neymar – Barca to PSG – €220m ‘The FFP don’t apply to PSG’

Up top:

Kylian Mbappe – Monaco to PSG – €180m ‘No, really, PSG are exempt from the FFP’

Romelu Lukaku – Everton to Man Utd – €85m ‘Honestly, I’m not scared of The Zlatan’

On the Bench:

Jordan Pickford – €29m

Antonio Rudiger – €35m

Danilo – €30m

Tiemoue Bakayoko -€40m


Ousmane Dembele – €105m

Alvaro Morata – €62m

Total cost: €1.204 BILLION

Great going forward, suspect at the back….sounds all a bit to familiar to me.

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