They all rolled over and one was left… (Arteta’s 7-Year Arsenal Cull)

Seven seasons and Mikel has been a busy boy.

“Some managers inherit a squad. I inherited a crime scene and only Starboy survived the investigations.”

(Source, Mikel Arteta (honestly))

Goalkeepers

• Bernd Leno – the guy who made a world-class save look routine and a routine backpass look like a near-death experience.
• Emiliano Martínez – still as arrogant as ever, perfectly suited at Chelsea.
• Matt Macey – I checked and a reverse google search confirmed ‘yes, that is Matt Macey in the photo.’

Defenders

• Héctor Bellerín – the man, the legend, the mullet
• Kieran Tierney – his heart was always in the right place, shame the rest of him was always in the treatment room
• Sokratis – sounded like a Brazilian footballer but played like a Greek philosopher
• Rob Holding – once got named in Garth Crooks’ Team of the Week
• Shkodran Mustafi – didn’t need instructions to mark the striker. Just a compass and someone to tell him where the striker actually was.
• Calum Chambers – Not to be confused with the Australian rules footballer Callum Chambers
• David Luiz – Well he had great hair
• Sead Kolašinac – well he was better than Andre Santos

Midfielders

• Dani Ceballos – looked great on YouTube
• Mesut Özil – Turned up for Real Madrid in a friendly, disappeared against Wigan in the rain
• Lucas Torreira – The little Uruguayan who bit ankles for fun
• Ainsley Maitland-Niles – Winger, midfielder, right back, left back in the changing room
• Joe Willock  – Box-to-box energy, final-third amnesia
• Mattéo Guendouzi – Well he had great hair, just not as great as David Luiz
• Granit Xhaka – Two-footed in the best and worst ways possible
• Emile Smith Rowe – The Croydon De Bruyne, when his hamstrings allowed it

Forwards

• Alexandre Lacazette – Lyon to Arsenal for £52 million. Arsenal to Lyon for £0 million
• Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang – unfortunately never learnt that you ‘play for the name in the front of shirt, not the one on the back
• Reiss Nelson – there will always be Bournemouth
• Gabriel Martinelli – Wrightys’ right, should have been treated better
• Nicolas Pépé – 72 million quid no one is getting back
• Bukayo Saka – Last man standing

Steve Wellman

English by birth, Australian by choice. Traffic Engineer, Arsenal ST Holder, Sun DreamTeam Winner, Writer on @GunnersTown, Depeche Mode, Welcome to my world…