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Breaking: FA Introduces Revolutionary New Rules to Stop The Arsenals Continuing Dark Arts

In a hastily arranged press conference held somewhere between PGMOL HQ and Howard Webb’s safe room, the FA unveiled its boldest reform yet: a package of emergency laws specifically designed to prevent Arsenal from winning football matches via set pieces and, even worse, taking their time over them. “Enough is enough,” sighed one FA official, […]

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Arsenal Celebrate St. Totteringham’s Day on March 1st. Scientists Confirm It’s Still Winter

In a development that statisticians are describing as “FRANKly offensive to Tottenham Hotspur,” Arsenal have secured St Totteringham’s Day on 1 March 2026, the earliest North London coronation since the tradition took shape over a century ago.  Historians of the rivalry note that this is the latest twist in a feud that has bubbled since […]

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The Arsenal Women Journal

The Arsenal Women Journal – Gunners win again. More of that, please! [ARS 1-0 MCI]

Hello, Arsenal Women aficionados! Another week, another big win for the Gunners, who got the better of league leaders Manchester City one week after winning the inaugural FIFA Women Champions Cup. That was a massive performance from Renée Slegers and her players, who dominated the visitors in the first half and managed to protect the […]

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