Arsenal, Césc, Nasri, Wenger and Star Wars?

WTTGT Writer: John Montanye – Follow me

Not that long ago in a Premiership not that far away…..

This transfer saga resembles those gripping tales that hooked you as a youngster. I refer of course to the original trilogy, not the clone trilogy that followed much later. But I digress.

Let’s take a look at the players in this year’s version of the all too familiar transfer season, and who their corresponding character would be in the famed Star Wars universe.

Arséne Wenger – Obi Wan Kenobi

He is the all knowing master, filled with wisdom and wanting nothing more than the best training for his young pupil. At the core of the man is a love for what he does but more importantly the way he goes about doing it. He is noble and charismatic but also capable of losing his cool like a mere mortal. His weapon of choice is a water bottle [insert light saber here]. Arséne seemingly has use of the force, able to persuade others to do his bidding. How he was able to keep Césc at Arsenal last year is surely proof! The fabled Obi Wan sacrificed himself to save others and also to become more powerful. More and more daily it seems Wenger must sacrifice his believes to satisfy others and in turn himself might become a more powerful figure at Arsenal. Is that possible?

Césc Fabregas – Luke Skywalker

He is the young farmer boy taken from his home where he was not realising his full potential. Obi Wan sees the potential this young boy has and takes him on a great adventure, instilling in him all the confidence possible. Whilst the boy is appreciative of the opportunity and while he looks to Obi Wan as a surrogate father, he feels, deep down, that he belongs elsewhere. He does all he can to help the cause he is attached to, he leads and focuses efforts towards the common goal, yet he feels attracted by the dark side, he struggles mightily with what to do.

Pep Guardiola – Darth Vader

He started as a young boy, much like Luke. Full of potential and following the light side. In his later years he turned on his master (Rijkaard) and joined the dark side, leading an army that was built by another as his own. He grows his power to heights rarely seen before. He abandoned his principles and later finds himself fighting fiercely with Obi Wan over a young boy that has much power. After much fanfare this tale might not end like the movies, this tale might end with Luke going to the dark side, happily obliged to do so. Darth might reveal to Luke that “I am your TRUE father!”

Samir Nasri – Han Solo

The nerf herder comparison here is both comical and fairly accurate. He is friends with Luke, but they are always competing. Han definitely thinks he is better in almost everything than Luke. There is a sibling rivalry that makes them close but at the same time pushes them away. There simply is no room for both. The rebellion needs both but can’t survive with both under the same roof, too many heroes in the room. The rebellion must choose wisely in who they will entrust the future to.

Like Han, the future of Nasri at the club might be decided by the number one motivation of all scoundrels, money!

Sandro Rosell – The Emperor

The Emperor was the leader of the empire, as Rossell is the leader of Barcelona FC. The comparisons end there. Rossell has no special skills and has not built anything to receive any praise for. The only comparison Arsenal supporters are likely to point to might be that the Emperor was killed by Darth Vader at the end of the films. This might not be far from the truth as Rossell is not doing everything to appease Pep. This part might see Rosell being dispatched off sooner rather than later or the reverse might occur. Darth Vader might end up back in the light!

The other people in this saga, with smaller roles…

Roberto Mancini – Greedo the bounty hunter

Not much to say here, Greedo is a bounty hunter; he works using people for credits. He opened his mouth and talked too much to Han Solo and was shot dead. Arsenal fans would rejoice if this comparison were accurate, proportionally speaking of course.

Sir Alex Ferguson – Jabba the Hutt

Jabba rules the underworld of the Star Wars universe. Like many underworld leaders he overstepped his reach by freezing Han Solo and using him as decoration. Hans’ friends came to the rescue and Jabba was done for, choked to death by a girl in a metal bikini. What a horrible ending for an underground figure. He doesn’t play the dark side or the light side, he plays the side that suits him at the given time.

4 Responses to Arsenal, Césc, Nasri, Wenger and Star Wars?

  1. Frankisek July 28, 2011 at 9:22 am #

    Well, with Patrice Evra as Chewbacca and you got yourself a seventh installment of the much loved franchise. Well done!

  2. [email protected] July 28, 2011 at 9:38 am #

    A great piece of art hither, but where is Xavi Henandes?

  3. Cdenning July 28, 2011 at 9:50 am #

    Xavi – has to be Boba Fett (he always gets his man)

  4. Gooner4life July 28, 2011 at 11:28 am #

    Havent laughed soooo much in sooooo long.
    Great article………….

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