Mesut Ozil, Nigella Lawson, Moobs, Air Max and the Arsenal

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Arsenal v Manchester United - Emirates Stadium

You know what really gets on my tits? Moobs, I mean moobs. Oh for crying out loud, I mean pecs. That’s right. I meant pecs. Muscly pecs. What really, really, really gets on my nerves is when a player is written off faster than my old Peugeot 205. Now I wrote that motor off fast. In fact I wrote it off double fast. But I’ve seen players written off faster. And it grinds my gears.

The latest player I’ve seen written off by some, and I can’t believe I’m actually writing this, is Mesut Ozil. Now in my opinion, this is more insane in the membrane than the fact Manchester United think that Wayne Rooney is worth £300,000 pound notes a week and even more insane than Peter Andre banging out his hit (ahem) single Insania. If I were you, I’d get yourselves somewhere where you can learn more about online gambling and bet on Ozil being the big dog next season and when we have a certain players or two back from injury.

Ozil is mega. Now I haven’t said the word mega since 1998. That’s how much I rate the bloke. And I reckon he’ll be THE man next season. Not just for Arsenal, but THE man in the Premier League.

Because Mesut cost £42m, some people expected him to fly out the traps quicker than trap 2 in the 19:57 at Crayford Dogs. Well, although he has faced some difficult moments at times this campaign so far I still think he has done well in his debut season here.

He was never going to come out all guns blazing, scoring 85 goals and creating a further 157 (although he has nearly come close with this amount of assists) this year but I think people expected him too because his standards are so high.

In the past Ozil has set the bar higher than Nigella Lawson bang on the charlie whilst cooking an apple crumble. That’s high. He will reach those heights with Arsenal, but I reckon it’ll be next season when we see it.


That’s not to say I don’t reckon the German will help us this season. He has, and he will. I just think a year under his belt, and the return of someone will let us see the best of him next year.

I may be right, I may be wrong, but I believe Ozil needs a bit of pace wrapped round him to see the best of his abilities. Now I’m not for one moment suggesting we sign Usain Bolt, although that would be unreal, but I believe when Theo Walcott returns we will see a different animal.

When he was at Real Madrid Mesut Ozil could pick a pass better than Dave Seager can pick his nose. And Dave is a champion nose picker.

Ozil had runners like Ronaldo (not the fat Brazilian one, who was a great player, but the preening gel-haired one, who is a great player) and Karim Benzema. These players looked to get behind the back-line and Ozil could thread passes through all day, all night.

Theo Walcott is a runner, so is Aaron Ramsey, and their absence from the team, has been a factor, not an X-Factor in the ‘loss of form’ for our beautiful Mesut.

I reckon the play-maker will shine, shining brighter than the shiniest shiny thing of all time, when he gets a bit more movement in front of him. I also think he’ll adapt to the league a lot more after a year.

So let’s get behind him. He’s in a new country, with new team-mates, a new manager, a new style of football and he’s done alright. He’ll do even better soon. I’d bet all my Nike Air Max trainers on it.

Keep It Goonerish…

Darren Wright

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One Response to Mesut Ozil, Nigella Lawson, Moobs, Air Max and the Arsenal

  1. Rob February 27, 2014 at 5:56 pm #

    Ha ha…funny, but entirely true! Top post Darren

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