DB’s Season Diary Week 2 – Monday 1st September – The Meltdown Cometh…
All day we waited, but they never came. We waited for the fabled DM, the beast who would protect us and keep us safe (or is it CDM? The whole place is so awash with consonants I’ve become tired and confused.)
We waited for the Fourth CB, a vital component for our future existence. They never came.
We refreshed and refreshed until forefinger and touch screen became one.We sat huddled around our televisions, waiting for a sign of our saviours from the Sky.We endured hours upon hours of a maniacal, excitable grey haired lunatic bathing in a concoction of our faint hopes and his own semen. They never came. Although he apparently did. Several times.
There was however some cheer when we clinched the signature of an ST – Danny Welbeck FFS. I’m not sure what the letters at the end of his name mean, perhaps he’s a professor of some kind.
Again, these consonants are a cause for confusion, I’m still trying to work out why, if a Centre Back is a CB, why a striker isn’t just an S. We are now left praying that the six defenders can somehow soldier on unscathed until January….
Tuesday 2nd September
Arsenal’s faint hopes of winning anything this season were dealt a huge blow when Manchester United clinched their first silverware of the season by winning Transfer Deadline Day, an achievement made even more remarkable by the fact that they won it without a single win so far this season.
What with Chelsea clinching the Premier League title before September, it means Arsene Wenger’s men are once again left to battle for fourth place.
The Gunners were dealt a further blow when Cesc Fabregas was crowned the Best Player in the History of Football and long term, completely realistic, target Radamel Falcao was snatched from underneath their noses by United, with the player turning down Champions League football to become the first player in Premier League history to earn so much money that he now actually poops out Euros.
Meanwhile, back in the real world….
Well, I don’t know about you, but thank god that’s over.
I apologise to any of you that are offended by not taking the monstrosity that is The Sky Sports Sponsored Sky Sports Transfer Deadline Day Sponsored by Sky Sports too seriously, but I found some of the reactions so fascinatingly OTT that I couldn’t take it any other way.
Perhaps we can concentrate on the actual football now eh?
Well, once we’ve all trawled through our Twitter accounts to delete the ones calling Danny Welbeck awful before anyone else gets their hands on them anyway.
The whole thing is ridiculous.
If there was no such thing as Sky Sports or social media, how different would that day be?
David Ornstein’s doing the dirty with your mum!
The Oracle Ornstein’s tweet that appeared not that long into proceedings, coupled with Arsene Wenger flying to Rome transformed the atmosphere from meltdown to apocalypse.
I must have read Ornstein’s tweet wrong, as it looked to me as if he said that barring any late surprises, Arsenal would not be signing anyone that day, but apparently he tweeted this:
As I said last week, I’m not here to judge anyone’s reactions to anything, but that becomes all the more difficult when there are judgements flying about all over the shop, from all sides.
You think we’ve had a decent window? Not in a state of complete panic regarding us being a few players light? You AKB? Wenger Apologist. Or something.
You’re unhappy with the window? Support the team you WOB.
These are only two relatively mild examples of each extreme, but anything in-between pretty much results in the same outcome, and as is quite often the case it seems almost impossible to find any kind of middle ground.
People will always have differing opinions, the debates going on today are the same ones that have been going on for years, long before our current place of debate was a glint in Tim Berners Lee’s eye.
I guess I may as well comment on our transfer business while I’m here, not many people would’ve done that this week. I am disappointed we didn’t sign a central defender, but I’m also pleased with the business we have done. That’s allowed, right?
I think if we had signed Welbeck when we signed Alexis Sanchez and Sanchez when we signed Welbeck the reaction may have been a bit different.
Call me old fashioned, but I believe that the only way to judge how well our transfer business went is on the pitch, and the fact that I have seen that kind of opinion mocked just sums it up.
Nobody was ever given a trophy for spending every last penny they have available.
As the next time you hear from me will be after the Manchester City game, I think it only appropriate I finish up with this week’s #COTW…..
#COTW #2 Bacary Sagna
Didn’t have to be at City long before he got caught c**t did he?
In the olden days, before social media took over our lives, it was generally acceptable to look upon most players that left the club with disdain.
Football back then could be the ultimate pantomime.
I remember the first time Viv Anderson came back to Highbury after signing for Man United, walking onto the pitch in his suit (they didn’t use to play in suits back then, kids, just in case you were wondering) to a chorus of boos and more. He didn’t stay out there for long, he even threw his hands up as he walked off of the pitch, as if to say “I’m not having this, mate.”
Now, these days, every player that leaves the club has to have a little pop at us, and the most frustrating thing about this is the fact that some of ours seem to want to agree with them.
“To be fair, he’s got a point….”
So what if he has? He doesn’t play for us anymore, so he is basically a c**t by default anyway. Having a dig at us just seals the deal.
So, to that end, and in keeping with the turning the cannon outward theme, our ex-right back takes the accolade of #COTW.
“This was the right time for me to leave Arsenal. I wanted to see somewhere new and boost my career,”
See somewhere new? Mate, you’ve been to Manchester before…
“I am now part of a much deeper squad at City, where it’s even harder for me to win a first-team place. But I feel more powerful than ever.”
“I think I’ve played enough football now, I’ll go somewhere with a big squad, where I’m pretty much working part time for thousands a week. I feel richer than ever.”
Do one, mate. Your hair’s shocking and I never thought your missus was all that anyway. All the money in the world isn’t going to change the fact that there are now a few thousand dirty Mancs knocking one out over her on Instagram. .
Until next week, be good.
Up The Arsenal
Islington born and bred, Arsenal through and through. Supported the Gunners for all of my 46 years (so far!) through thick and thin.
Clickbait: Life as a Modern Football Fan – released 2019
Currently working on my next book – Over Land and Sea (and Lockdown), Arsenal 20/21 – A Diary of a Season – due for release Summer 2021.
I will back the club I have in my blood to the hilt and I don’t care what you think about that. UTA.
AGAINST MODERN FOOTBALL.