DB’s Season Diary Week 3 – The Great Arsenal Conspiracy
As tedious as an international break can be, I for one was quite glad of it when it came. Coming hot on the heels of the end of the transfer window, a break such as this goes a long way to reviving our hunger for what it’s all about – watching The Arsenal play football.
For weeks most of the focus had been on who we needed to sign, who we might sign, who we should, shouldn’t and wouldn’t sign. Now, unless you’re a complete masochist, the focus is on what will happen on the pitch again.
Well, mostly anyway, as sometimes a lack of Arsenal also equates to a “slow news week.” This has been demonstrated this week by people picking up on the fact that Arsene has not been heard from since the close of the transfer window, and somehow coming to the conclusion that Danny Welbeck was signed without his approval, which I’m my opinion is beyond the realms of stupidity.
Now, I’m not one to spend all day scouring the internet for what everyone else is up to, in order to find a stick to beat us with, but I can’t say I’d seen much talk coming from any other clubs either.
Once again, I’m not going to sit here in judgement of how anyone else wants to spend the best part of a two week international break, each to their own and all that.
My advice though, would be if you want conspiracy theories watch X Files, and if you want blatant attention seeking watch X Factor.
The Truth is Out There…..
I wrote that on the morning of Arsene Wenger’s press conference, and it turns out I was completely wrong, so I hold my hands up to that, no shame in admitting you’re wrong. I didn’t bother listening to the whole press conference though, because some journalist on Twitter told me all I needed to know.
Arsene’s “cryptic” answers at this presser have left a lot of questions unanswered (even though he actually answered them.) So, rather than listen to the whole thing, I thought I would delve into this mystery myself, because quite frankly, holding my hands up and admitting I was wrong is making me feel uncomfortable. What I have uncovered though, is sure to send shockwaves through the Arsenal online community, as it seems there is indeed something “odd” going on at the club…..
I ask you to consider the following #facts …….
1. The Number 23
It’s hard to ignore the fact that the number 23 just keeps cropping up here.
The following will send chills down your spine:
Danny Welbeck will wear the number 23.
Danny Welbeck is 23.
Danny Welbeck is 1.85m talk and weighs 73kg – 1+8+5+7+3 = 24, Danny Welbeck has one face, 24 – 1 = 23.
Danny Welbeck was born on 26/11/1990, and this is where it gets really spooky – 2+6+1+1+9+9+0 = 29
2 + 9 = 11
29 – 11 = 18
Welbeck signed on a 5-year deal
18 + 5 = 23
This is the very definition of odd, can it be too much of a coincidence that the number 23 is so heavily involved in the transfer of Danny Welbeck?
What is the significance of the number 23?
I believe that Arsene was too close to discovering the truth, and that members of the illuminati, who believe the number 23 to be the key to the future existence of the human race, were concerned enough to conspire with certain factions within Arsenal Football Club to have Arsene Wenger eliminated….
2. Arsene Wenger is Dead
After it became clear that Arsene knew too much about the number 23, he was actually murdered in Rome.
In a plot orchestrated by Ivan Gazidis and rogue factions within the Arsenal board, growing increasingly frustrated with the managers dithering, and the illuminati, the Pope administered a slow acting poison upon greeting Wenger, causing his heart to explode on the way to the airport.
His body was rushed to a taxidermist-cum-scientist contact of Alisher Usmanov, and is now being controlled remotely from the board room.
I was going to look into the theory that Welbeck was signed without Wenger’s approval.
But that seemed bit far-fetched…..
And finally, an alternative theory….
French bloke walks into a bar…..
….. and is greeted by a whisky soaked, piss stained, red-nosed Scot, it’s 7am but he’s been drinking in this airport bar for a few hours already.
“Arsene!! Get yeself over here and have a wee dram! Ye’ll never guess what Ah’ve just heard…..”
Then, finally, after what seemed like an age, we had some football to concentrate on…..
Arsenal 2 Manchester City 2 – Jack is back, but we are f****d right in Debuchy
I don’t have a great deal of time for an in depth match report, not that it’s really my thing anyway, so a few quick thoughts on the game.
Firstly, I thought this was a hugely encouraging performance, and I’m doing my best to focus on that, difficult as that is considering it’s now looking like a toss up between Hector Bellerin and Pat Rice for the right back spot, after the so far impressive Mathieu Debuchy’s injury.
It is a real shame that the state of our defence after Debuchy’s injury has almost overshadowed a good performance, but Arsene did take a huge gamble in not strengthening our defence (not that I think it could’ve been just a case of clicking his fingers and a defender good enough but ok with being 4th choice magically appears) and this being Arsenal, that was the sort of gamble where you back the horse with one leg in a two horse race. We’ve heard a bit about Arsene’s poker face recently, just don’t sneak a peek at his betting slip if you see him in William Hill.
Well, if you do, make sure you back the other horse.
Going back to the positives though, there were some encouraging signs in our performance, especially from Jack Wilshere. Not gonna lie, I’m a big fan of Jack, and stick by my opinion that he has the tools and the talent to be one of the best in the world. Let’s hope he can kick on from here in what is a huge season for him.
Anyway, big game tonight, enjoy!
Especially those of you who are auditioning for right back…..
Until next week.
Up The Arsenal
Islington born and bred, Arsenal through and through. Supported the Gunners for all of my 46 years (so far!) through thick and thin.
Clickbait: Life as a Modern Football Fan – released 2019
Currently working on my next book – Over Land and Sea (and Lockdown), Arsenal 20/21 – A Diary of a Season – due for release Summer 2021.
I will back the club I have in my blood to the hilt and I don’t care what you think about that. UTA.
AGAINST MODERN FOOTBALL.