Following yet another dismal performance by England, Theo called a prezzer to announce his retirement from international football.
Since breaking into the England squad at the 2006 World Cup at the tender age of 12, Theo has played 46 matches for The Three Lions, with a low return of 8 goals.
Theo’s England career has been hit and miss at best.
The high being his hat trick vs Croatia in September 2008 (and the record as the youngest plater to score a hat trick for England) and the low being omitted from the 2010 World Cup squad, which Capello later admitted was a mistake.
Theo stated that he wanted to concentrate on his career with The Arsenal and he felt it was time for the youngsters, such as Lingard and Rashford to step up and take over the mantle for England.
With a smirk on his face, Theo the stood up, dropped the Mike and exited stage left, ignoring the pleas from the shell shocked press.
Believing there was more to this story , I chased down Theo and offered to buy him a shandy in the local, in return for the full story behind his shock decision.
“Well, Wellmo, you see, the truth is, playing for England just isn’t up to the standard of playing for The Arsenal.
I mean, at The Arsenal, I make an inside out run, knowing that Mezut or Santi will drop the ball on a sixpence, for me to take round the keeper and bury.
With England I’ve got Henderson and Dier, it’s hardly worth even bothering running.
At The Arsenal, I can beat the full back and without looking up slide the ball into the box, knowing either Alexis or Iwobi will be on the end of it.
With England I’ve got Rooney and Lingard, it’s really not worth the effort of trying.
At The Arsenal, I’ve got Hector up and down the line with me, to play tiki-taka around the opposition.
With England I’ve got Kyle Walker, who I can’t even get a pass from.
At The Arsenal I’ve got Arsene Wenger.
With England I’ve had, Hodgson, Allardyce and now Southgate, enough is enough.
And to be perfectly honest, all the spuds are stinking the place out”
Until next time.