Wenger Hell
Following Granit “The Rock” Xhaka red vs Swansea and Arsene’s comments:
“It looked harsh to me butut it was a deliberate foul. It looked a dark yellow – and the referee went for a bright red.
I have heard on the grapevine that Wenger is proposing a new card system to FIFA called “Wenger’s Inferno”
The basis of Wenger’s 7 levels of hell are as follows:
Card – Example Offence / Punishment
Light Yellow – Questioning a player or official’s parentage / Slap on the wrist and a compulsory post-match interview with Richard Keys
Painful
Yellow -Putting your shirt over your head after scoring/ 5 minutes in the sin bin taking over the fourth official’s duties
Dark Yellow – Intentional handball /Made to play the rest of the game with one hand and one leg behind your back
Light Red – Smiling at the ref in a funny manner / Made to watch a full series of ‘Mrs Browns Boys’ in one sitting
Red – Professional foul outside the box / Deported to a post Trump victory America
Noooooooooooooooooooo!
Dark Red – Professional foul in the box / Tarred and feathered
Black – Decapitation of a player by means of a two footed tackle / Game is stopped and player is taken to the car park and shot by firing squad live on SkySports
More serious Breaking News from the Far Side soon…..
English by birth, Australian by choice. Traffic Engineer, Arsenal ST Holder, Sun DreamTeam Winner, Writer on @GunnersTown, Depeche Mode, Welcome to my world…
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