With a couple of free weeks on his hands, Granit’s social media manager, Terrance Witter, decided to call an emergency meeting.
Meeting up for a socially distanced juice at the local London Colney Costa Coffee, T.Witter arrived first, due to Xhaka having to prove his vaccination status to be allowed on the premises. Finally, they sat down together at the rear of the shop, out of the eyeline of the prying twitterazzi.
‘Look, Granit, it’s damage limitation time again. Another red card, therefore, another apology. What do you want to say, this time’
Well, let’s lead with ‘Important result, proud of my team, thanks to the fans for their massive support’
‘Well, Granit;
1 – you’ve ignored the fact you got a red card, and
2 – that’s basically what you said in October 2016 after the Swansea game.
Come on, we’ve got to do more than that, you are getting slaughtered out there’
Ok, what about this. ‘So disappointed about the way I left the field…..’
‘Bloody hell Granit, just stop, please just stop, that’s word for word January 2017. You do know the quote ‘What goes on line, stays on line’. It’s got to be unique and from the heart. Not just a rehash. Jesus, you’ve had enough practice at this, after all, you’ve had to apologise 19 times on Insta’
Fine, let’s go with this, “I am responsible for anything that happened and will take all the critiques, I should be more intelligent not to get in a challenge after already being booked, but this is my personality, I like to fight for every ball. I love my club and country. I will continue to work harder and make things right.”
At least that sounds genuine, but, that’s Thomas’s apology from the other day.
Bloody hell Granit, be bloody original.
Ok, ok, here we go, “Honestly, I deserved the red card against Liverpool. I will be the first to admit when I do wrong. But, lots of other decisions, since I came to England have gone against me and were wrong, in my opinion”
“Finally, an original thought, I guess that will have to do.
Oh, yeah, Granit, please, please tell me you weren’t betting on yourself to get booked in the 86th minute, pretty please”
English by birth, Australian by choice. Traffic Engineer, Arsenal ST Holder, Sun DreamTeam Winner, Writer on @GunnersTown, Depeche Mode, Welcome to my world…
I can think many worse words than “sorry” for that SOB. #XhakaOut! Salvation Army stuf.