During a normal day at the office, everyday lowlife and minor TV celebrity ‘Tears Margon’ was checking through his vast network of totally legal phone taps and spyware, when he came across spreadsheet on Arteta’s personal laptop titled:
‘What to do with Douzi, Dinos and Bill?’
Intrigued and thinking of the money he could make selling the story to NAFTV (Not Arsenal Fans TV) and potential kudos he could gain with the #ArtetaOut brigade, Tears hacked his way in.
The file tabs were named: Douzi, Dinos and Bill and all three had two sections: Player report and MA comments.
Margon navigated his way to the the tabs and read on, with the unconditional glee of a 12 year old finding his older brothers porn stash.
Player report: Douzi
Marseille- Loan finishes May 2022 – Seems to have lost a bit of his arrogant streak and is showing that he actually cares about his team to the point of protecting his own players when opposition fans are trying to attack them. Deschamps thinks highly of him and is now a full international.
MA Comment: Not playing for The Arsenal again until he sorts out his bloody hair.
Player report: Dinos
Vfb Stuttgart – Contract expires May 2022 – Reports out of Germany say that he is one of the best centre backs in the league. Stuttgart will definitely take up option to buy and may even sell him straight on to Dortmond, who are sniffing around.
MA Comment: I have no idea who the fcuk this player is, I didn’t sign him, that Mislintat guy can keep him.
Player report: Bill
Marseille- Loan finishes May 2022 – Just been named Marseille’s player of the month. He’s playing every week and getting rave reviews. The French National team are circling and the YouTube warriors still think he’s the greatest thing since sliced brioche.
MA Comment: FFS, What more can I do. I buy White and Gabriel. Form one of the best centre back partnerships in the EPL. Get us challenging for the top four and they still moan about Saliba not playing. Look, I’ll give him a go next year, but I’m not promising anything.
Margon, wet himself in delight, “I’m going to be a Gooner God once I publish this. I think I’ll commission my statue now !!!!!!!”
English by birth, Australian by choice. Traffic Engineer, Arsenal ST Holder, Sun DreamTeam Winner, Writer on @GunnersTown, Depeche Mode, Welcome to my world…