‘The pinch’
An Arsenal blog from a coach’s perspective
I’m taking a calculated risk by admitting this.
I’ve never thought that I’m mad or living in another reality but since the world went mad, I’ve thought about it. I’ve heard many people state that we are living in a scripted movie and this is how it felt after attempting to process that game. But that is not possible in football because the script that I’m about to share is far too complicated to make reality.
Anyway, it seemed like a movie. This movie (below). I suppose we all process differently.
The movie would be called, ‘Ecstasy, Terror and the Norwegian Prince.’
SYNOPSIS:
Two teams meet at a stadium with what sounds like a lame made up name from a Hallmark movie, ‘The London Stadium.’ Both teams have to win and if they do, one should win the shiny trophy and the other might fall off the wall and break their crown and tumble down the hill. That might be mixing two nursery rhymes, but it sounds right. The movie starts with much action and close calls. The Arteta character then loses his mind and subsequently his midfield, by making a bizarre change. Then he makes a second bizarre change taking off the player that looks like a hero on a white horse and was playing like he was the likely main character in the movie. The usual main character on the right wing was actually a barely seen cameo appearance. The actual hero becomes the small Belgian boy who not only looks like he has been beaten up and sent threw the ringer of family drama, but his hair is firm evidence of such, as I swear that it was blonder last week and greyer on Sunday. His hero status is clearly a sympathy move by the director who might just win an Oscar for ‘The most dramatic ending since The Usual Suspects.’ A Norwegian Prince saves the villain coach (who quite honestly looks like he could actually be a key player in the dark side of a famous movie series,’) by coming on with his shiny sword and showing the bravery that the other actors couldn’t muster. He sliced through the egg and pushed him off the wall. BUT…….. just when you think that the Norwegian prince was about to kiss the girl (or get kissed by the coach from the dark side), a man with a corny made up name, Darren England, puts his foot on the egg, blows his whistle and puts his palm up in the air. We wait. We keep waiting.
Surely he needs to take his foot off the egg and let it continue falling down Relegation Hill, but the Darren England man wants to re-watch the movie before he decides how it will end. And so we wait. We keep waiting. And then we feel sick. And then Darren England lifts his foot up and West Hampty Dumpty tumbles down the hill to what looks like an inevitable end.
That is how it felt.
To the point that I actually caught myself considering and actually pinching myself to check that I wasn’t in a dream. I’ve never done that before. It really didn’t help that for some reason I went onto Facebook and the first image was of a former students Dad who used to be bald and now looks like this….
I think I pinched myself again. I’m not sure if the Arsenal game or ‘Action Man to Weird Al’ is a stranger moment in time.
Everybody has their story that they will re-tell of how they coped with the last 13 minutes of that game. This is mine. I’m off for a nap now.
POSITIVES
Odegaard:
I don’t know how I feel about Odegaard. When a player performs to his ceiling should you be delighted or frustrated that he hasn’t been doing it for two seasons. If Odegaard moves on in the summer it will be sad on many levels. As a leader he has been excellent. His work ethic is unlike any other attacking midfielder in world football. His ability on the ball is his super power though, but he too often leaves his cape at home.
We can only hope that Mikel kept him in the changing room after everyone else got on the bus and told him that he needs to use his glorious left foot to play more through balls and his delicious feet and dribbling ability to penetrate. He has spent the largest part of two seasons showing us how incredible he is at being press resistant whilst dribbling sideways and backwards, but he can do more.
There is another possibility.
That Arteta is responsible for his style of play. In that case I hope that Martin sat Mikel down after the game and told him how he makes him feel. That he is capable of winning games before they absolutely have to be won.
Raya:
Arsenal are too busy getting repeatedly punched for anything that the media and fans can find for us to get any credit. Shortly, I plan on writing a piece about how Arteta and his team are revolutionizing football and Raya will be one of the headlines. His positioning, his feet, his reflexes and his reliability and confidence in his hands is not normal.
That foot save was one of the best I’ve ever seen. Up there and probably even better than Martinez v Kolo Muani because Fernandes was closer. Watch it again. It doesn’t just hit his foot, he moves it. He is positioned 3 yards from his line and Fernandes is 5 yards out. Unreal.
I remember David Seaman, who many consider to be the best Arsenal GK ever, being so reliable. That is a goal keepers most important adjective. David Raya Raya is at least equally reliable and reliably saves what other keepers see as unsavable shots. This is a step beyond Seaman.
As for the most talked about foul of the season here are my thoughts……
.;
It was a foul. Three times over. His jersey was being pulled. He had an elbow in his face from a player not even attempting to jump for the ball and his left arm was being held down. The fact that Myles and Kai were being assaulted as well as Rice and others assaulting West Ham players is a different conversation because VAR were asked to check one incident. What has become a complete trainwreck is that there were at least 6 obvious fouls going on. So, the referee needs to just give the players a vest and some boxing gloves at each corner and close his eyes or the FA has to do a serious clampdown. Much like Keir Starmer trying to resuscitate his career, it has gone too far already. What we will see next season is lots of penalties for holding, blocking and pushing in August and September, lots of justified complaints from fans about ‘what about this foul?’ Then there will be a new rule because Arteta will have created the ‘mega-person’ in the box. It is where Calafiori sits on Gabriel’s shoulders who is standing on Saliba’s shoulders and Ricky Calafiori will have scored 17 headers in the first month of the season from Declan Rice’s new 30 foot chipped corner kicks.
Leo:
I’d decided that both Martinelli and Trossard needed to leave at the end of the season. I am now doubting myself. I wonder if his 2026 dip in form is related to his family life and that what we are just hearing about in regards to his divorce, is old news to him. If he can become the game winning winger that he has been for the majority of his Arsenal career then me, you and everyone else needs to at least be good with him staying as back up. He won’t be because his character doesn’t allow that. He will attempt and possibly succeed in holding down that left wing spot until he decides to leave himself.
Gabriel:
Does anyone have a compilation of his goal saving blocks? I know that all defenders are blocking shots, but he doesn’t flinch. The rest of the normal human defenders don’t square their body up and take hit after hit. His late block will get lost in the drama but he has done this consistently for the last 2 seasons. He is personally responsible for re-inventing aspects of football. His name will be repeated in video sessions and on training pitches worldwide because of his ability in both boxes.
NEEDS
Arteta:
Somebody needs to show Mikel some footage of his bald buddy at City over complicating big games. Mikel is too young to be bored, like Pep. Let’s win a few trophies before we take out the best midfielder around out of the midfield and leave the direct replacement on the bench. His Odegaard substitution may well have saved him from an awful lot of grief.
Saka:
As Saka goes, so do Arsenal. This is not entirely true but it sure helps when he decides to be the difference. Perhaps he was sick? Perhaps West Hampty Dumpty were successful in shimmying us to the left? Either way, it was a bad day to have an off day.
HOPES
Fernandes:
I’m in agreement with this twitter legend.
Sickness and injury:
Apparently, we had a sickness bug in the camp. This might explain the slow paced second half if players were feeling sick. White and Calafiori may both be done for the season. It might be horse placenta time.
Start fast:
Arsenal must discourage Burnley early. Many relegated teams play with more freedom and looser shoulders. I’m also doubting that Burnley will park the bus because why would they? I’d appreciate an open game.
Palace clue:
Palace may feel like they have to be fair to City as well as Arsenal and play a weakened team in both. My best guess is that half of their starters start in each game.
TWEETS and THOUGHTS:
I love it when ‘normal everyday fans’ have the correct take vs ‘paid media’
But, but, but Arsenal are crap!!!!
Very impressive.
Just when it was needed.
But I really thought Arsenal were crap!!!
You know what…… this could be the media narrative, if they wanted. It’s rooted in fact. Not a single red card all season. Flowers from me is the best we might get.
Another potential ‘Tweet of the Year.’
If you don’t have social media, then this is a prime example of what Arsenal fans have to put up with.
Another example of what the narrative should be.
One of the best value for money signings in the clubs history. The goal on Sunday was worth the fee alone.
Would be fascinating if true. would mean that Kai or Viktor could be moved on.
FINAL THOUGHT:
I took my team to the Mercedes Benz Stadium on Saturday. Many of them haven’t been to a big city in their life. It was a blessing to bless them in this way.
Life is winding down as school is winding down for summer. Arsenal are winding up so that swimming pool in the backyard of the Airbnb that we’ve rented in the South Downs will be quite lovely in mid-June. If you know of any beautiful towns and villages we can visit whilst we are in the South, I’d appreciate the tips.
Let’s finish with two beautiful images. I think Rice is being too polite to the Hammers fans here.
And let this anxiety pill make you smile….
Former Highbury regular. Moved to TN, USA in ’99. Married with 3 kids. Coached in UK and US for 27 years.
Mike McDonald Soccer Academy in Morristown TN, Olympic Development coach, Regional Premier League Champion.
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