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Welcome to the Magic Roundabout: Arsenal’s transfer dizziness begins

It’s that’s time of year, it’s mid June, the transfer window is open and the Magic Roundabout is here again.

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Dougal wakes up and proclaims to the world “The Arsenal will sign Jesus tomorrow. He is on a plane back from Brazil as we speak. His medical is this afternoon, he will be announced to the press tomorrow and resurrect his career at The Emirates.”

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“That’s bollox” says Ermintrude (The Magic Roundabout had gone R15 since it was limited to YouTube only). “Arsenal’s first major signing will be Tielemans. Xhaka can jog on, Youri will be our new quarterback”

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“For fcuks sake, you guys know nofing.” Florence starts ramping up her volume. “This weekend, no doubt, Benzema, after 10 years of trying, signs, for real life, gospel truth”

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Zebedee has had enough by this stage. “You know bugger all. Gnabry’s resigning is imminent. It’s a done deal. It was always the deal. Arsenal ➡️ Werder Breman ➡️ Bayern Munich ➡️ Arsenal”

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“Actually” says Brian “All of you haven’t got a bloody clue. It will be (Fábio)Vieira, because Mikel is worried that when the Clock End sign THAT song, they are calling for Paddy to replace him. This signing will banish the monster in his head”

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