3 months? Edu and Arteta start scrambling.

So, apparently, the worse case scenario has come to fruition. Jesus will not rise from his knee knock and is likely to be out for 3 months.


This has sent London C into crisis mode and I have managed, through my second cousin’s dog walker’s step brother, to get a copy of Friday’s emergency exec meeting.

Edu – “Mikel, wtf are we going to do. The Brazilians have fcuked Jesus.”

Mikel – “Listen mate, you said it would be all good. You said, they would play the muppet from the Spuds. You said, he’ll be on the bench all tournament”


Edu – “Chill your bones. Just cos I’m Brazilian, doesn’t mean I know everything about football. That’s what I was told. Don’t shoot the messenger”

Mikel takes a few deep breaths and composes himself

“Right. Let’s look at this calmly and rationally. First game back Boxing Day. No choice, Eddie starts.

One more game, then the window opens. Then we buy, yes?”

Edu – “I like your theory, but….all the decent strikers are at the World Cup and it’s the January window, so, that’s double trouble on transfer fees”

Mikel – “Great, just great, so Silent Stan has grown short arms again? Does he remember the end of last season, one striker and we came 5th in a 4 horse race”


Edu – “I know, I was there, remember. It was all played out on tv, so no chance of getting away from it”


Mikel – “ Look, just tell Stan to dig deep and help us out here. I don’t want to go through that sh!t again and I’m not spending another season on the Spuds coattails, and if Martinelli gets injured in Qatar, I am gonna kill you!!!”





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