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Saka Star-boy: Public Enemy Number 1

Since Little Chilli burst onto the scene 4 seasons ago, teams have struggled to deal with his pace, guile and all round sheer genius.

However, since the restart after the World Cup, it has become clear that a combined tactic has been adopted to stop Star-boy in his tracks.

Through my covert contact, I have obtained a copy of the minutes from the AGM of a secret society known as WHELKS (We’re Here, Everyone Let’s Kick Saka) and it makes interesting reading.

GP(CFC):

Right boys, you saw how France and Upamecano dealt with the so called ‘Star-boy’, who are you gonna send out to ‘impede’ him?

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BR(LCFC):

I’ve got this Aussie guy. Sometimes gets Aussie Rules mixed up with real football. He can clatter him and make it look like he just ‘slipped’.

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PG(MCFC):

I’m willing to sacrifice Silva to the job. He’s not that type of player normally, so the ref won’t punish him for it. It will be an ‘accident’

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UE(AVFC):

No problem, we will alternate our attack. That will confuse the ref.

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GP(CFC):

That’s perfect, I’ve got this Spaniard, he’s subtle, VAR won’t see a thing.

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And if you ever need any extra advice, I can put you in touch with this Italian I know.

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