Wayne Rooney, Luis Suarez, Cesc Fabregas; All aboard The Wenger Bus

Wenger Bus is coming

and who’s
gonna be joining

striker? A midfielder?

A centre-back?
A keeper?

With an
apparent £100m to spend, Arsene Wenger has
started the transfer window being linked with various new dance partners from
all parts of the globe.

In the striker
department, three main candidates have been mooted.

Wayne Rooney: (Transfer fee £40m, wages £250k+ per week). Let’s be realistic here, the
transfer fee and wage structure is there to be broken but, personally, I can’t
see Wenger and the board sanctioning that sort of breach of the fees.

Luis Suarez: (£40m and £150k per week) A smoke screen, Real Madrid want him and
Arsene is playing silly buggers to smoke out his real target…

Gonzalo Higuain: £30m and £150k a week should seal the deal. Would fit into the
current 4-3-3 system, being fed by two wingers and supported by attacking
midfielders. Even with Real trying to pull a fast one by apparently upping the
asking price, I still believe he is the man.

In midfield,
the options are more clouded.

We need a
DM, but could work around this with a utility or AM and a bit of a shuffling of
the pack.

Marouane Fellaini: seemed a shoe-in but he’s now declared his love for Brand

Cesc Fabregas: is a possibility, if someone activates his buyout clause.
But he doesn’t want to move and Barcelona don’t really seem like they want to
sell him.

Lars Bender: an early foray into the market, but rebuffed in an

leads us back to usual suspects, Wenger’s favourite, French midfielders. Etienne Capoue? Yann M’Villa? Maxime Gonalons? I’m sticking to my
guns and backing Capoue to be on the
next Eurostar to London.

reports coming from South America indicate that the latest Brazilian wonder kid
Bernard is sambaing his way to the
Emirates for a cool £21m.

In defence
the only real target seems to be Ashley
. At first £10m seemed a bit rich for
Arsene, but with TV5’s injury, I’m reckoning we will be travelling down the M4
for another crack at him.

Then we
look in nets, Julio Cesar, Tim Krul, Federico Marchetti, Bob
? have all at some stage been ‘on their way to Arsenal’ according to various
tabloid press outlets. The Far Side View is that Julio Cesar is by far the best option to challenge and push
Wojciech Szczesny.

Wenger Bus is going

and who’s
gonna be leaving

Chamakh, Gervinho

Bendtner also to go?

offing the likes of Andrey Arshavin (still a waste of talent in my eyes),
Denilson and Sebastien Squillaci, Wenger still has at least five players
jostling for the a place on Arsenal’s “Least Wanted” list and looking for a way out.

Chu-Young Park – Let’s hope they enforce his national service once his South
Korean Boot Camp is over, 안녕히 가세요 Chu-Young.

Marouane Chamakh – Levante have offered £1m,
take it, it’s profit, وداعا Marouane

– Roma and Lyon are apparently vying for his signature. Two years at Arsenal and
it hasn’t really worked out, au revoir Gervais.

Andre Santos – Finally he is off to learn some dance moves at Flamengo,
adeus Andre.

Nicklas Bendtner – The self confessed “Greatest Striker in the
World” would be out the door already if he didn’t believe his own hype and
would budge on his excessive wage demands, farvel Nic.

departure of these five alone would save somewhere in the region of £300k per week, or otherwise known as a “Wayne

Let’s get these players in and out and get a trophy won, because
us Gooners…..

We like
to party

We like,
we like to party

We like
to party

We like,
we like to party

looking forward to some party rock!

Steve Wellman 

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One Response to Wayne Rooney, Luis Suarez, Cesc Fabregas; All aboard The Wenger Bus

  1. Julien de Waal July 23, 2013 at 3:13 pm #

    Had a good laugh reading this "oh-so true" article. Great stuff Steve!

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