Arsenal’s plan for Luis Suarez, the best ways to spend Manchester City’s cash and Jack Wilshere deserves a medal

Week Eighteen – Perspective over meltdown

Applaud the fans NOW!

Perspective – [mass noun] true understanding of the relative importance of things;  a sense of proportion:”

Last week, I mentioned that it can sometimes be harder to write about Arsenal when things are going well than when things aren’t going well.

Next time you hear me say anything like that, kindly kick me in the bollocks and call me a cunt.

Not the best of weeks to say the least, but as I like to try and keep my glass at least half full whenever possible, I’m doing my best to take a step back from all the madness at the moment and look at things with a clear head.

Napoli 2 Arsenal 0 – A chance missed, an objective passed

Firstly, before I try to take a measured look at this game, I feel the need to address something that bugs the fuck out of me.

As far as I’m concerned it is perfectly ok to criticise the performance of the team when we haven’t played well without being tarred with the “negative” brush.

However, if that is ok, then it is also ok to take issue with over the top criticism, abuse, and downright fucking horse shit some people come out with after the slightest setback without being labelled an “über fan” or an AKB or whatever other shit we’re calling it this week.

Nobody ever had an issue with a supporter who wanted to defend the team to the hilt no matter what before Twitter et al gave certain kinds of tosser a voice anyway.

Right, now that’s off my chest…

I think the only way I can look at this is by taking a step back and breaking it all down…

The Performance

It was one of “those” games.

We have been in this position before, where we don’t need to win to progress, and I’ve never felt we looked comfortable with it in the past, and I think the same can be said of last night.

I felt we did the job pretty well in the first half though, but Napoli had to win the game, so they were always going to come at us in the second half.

That said, I think we got this one wrong tactically I’m afraid. We needed to put the idea of not having to win the game out of our heads and try to win the game. Going out to just avoid defeat has never been a strong point for us, but at the end of the day we have qualified with 12 points from an extremely hard group, and if we are perfectly honest, it’s a group that when the draw was made is one a lot of people didn’t expect us to qualify from.

That a lot of these people are probably the ones with the biggest arse ache that we didn’t win the group is something that makes little sense.

Fan Reaction

Like I say, criticism of the team and/or the manager is totally acceptable and understandable under the circumstances.

However, a sense of perspective seems beyond a lot of people unfortunately.

The thing that gets me the most is the constant singling out of players time after time.

First we had Aaron Ramsey, Theo Walcott gets has had his fair share too, now it’s Olivier Giroud.

Granted, he’s not had his best few weeks, but if you are going to use up precious web space to criticise him for not finishing the chance against Everton that Mesut Ozil scored from a split second later, you might want to look for a better use of the internet.

Finishing Second

There seem to be two schools of thought on this – those who think you have to face the big teams at some point to win the Champions League, and those who would prefer an easier draw, and that you have more of a chance of actually winning the competition the longer you stay in it.

Both are valid points in my opinion, but at the end of the day, there has to be a point where you look at it this way – if you want to be playing FC Whodafuk, from the Back of East Bumfuck League, like that shower of shit up the road, then there’s not much point being in the Champions League at all. Just my opinion, don’t @ me….

So, let’s get a sense of perspective – we finished a very close second to last season’s runners up, who we beat in their own back yard, we are in the next round having survived the Group of Death, something a lot of people thought beyond us, put in some great performances on the way, and we are in the draw for the next round.

On to the next game then….

Manchester City 6 Arsenal 3 – Not the end of the world

The most annoying thing for me is the way most of, if not all, of their goals could have been avoided.

Little individual mistakes and lapses in concentration have been creeping back into our game recently, and on Saturday they came storming back with abundance.

I felt we really missed Mikel Arteta in this game. He is another player who has taken a bit of flak recently – some justified, some not so much – but there are some games when it is really noticeable when he’s not playing.

Before I move on to the officiating, I feel I should point out that I am not saying they are the reason we lost, nobody can possibly know that. However, there can be no denying that we didn’t get the rub of the green as far as decisions went in this game. You’ve seen the decisions, no need for me to go into them here

The linesman got a lot of stick from City fans in the first half after actually getting a few decisions right. Things went steadily downhill from the twats with flags from there.

A poor defensive performance and a poor result, City were the better side, no doubt, but even so I think the scoreline looks a little worse than it was. There you go, glass half full.

So, some perspective after this result?

We are still top of the league, albeit by just two points now. However half empty your glass is that has to be something to be thankful for.

Yes we came up short against one of the top teams etc, but the five point cushion we had built up by – get this – gaining more points than any other team in the league – ensured that we remain at the top after this setback.

We have nine days to recover and regroup, and as bad a week it has been it is not the end of the world, neither does it necessarily mean it is the beginning of the end.

In Mourinho World, we actually didn’t lose this game anyway. It was 6-6 or something.

Ah yes, good old Mourinho. The fucking soap dodging scruffy, trampy looking thundercunt. If ever there were the perfect way to bounce back it is by beating this horrendous bunch of bastards.

I thought about going into one over the idiots among our own fans that seem almost happy we have lost this week, just so they can be proved right about whoever or whatever it is they are blaming this week.

I thought about covering the Ozil non-clapping non-story and the hypocrisy that went with it.

I even thought about covering Jack giving City fans, who had been booing him all game, the bird. One-game ban? Give him a fucking medal I say.

But no, why get too depressed when we can take the piss out of people?

You know, laughter, best medicine and all that.

That Manuel Pellegrini’s a weird looking fucker by the way isn’t he?

I was trying to work out who it was he reminded me of, then I remembered Terrahawks…

Maybe he can get a few quid out of the oilies to iron out those creases.

On that note, I believe that Manchester City have spent around £930 million since they sold their soul.

They should be winning the league at a canter really.

As it’s perspective week, allow me to put that into context if I may.

For £930 million you can buy around 18,000,000 grams of cocaine and 900,000,000 cans of squirty cream. One fucking top weekend at Nigella’s that.

For £930 million you can buy your own island, populated by 1000 high class hookers who will pander to your every need.

For £930 million you can buy around 1.5 million iPads and hide them away in a bunker somewhere, thus preventing 1.5 million twats from taking photos with iPads at football matches.

We Can Still Get Suarez

And let’s never forget this – no matter how bad things may be, always be thankful we are not Tottenham. Well and truly stuffed 5-0 at home to Liverpool.

Of course, this still gave some of the more menstrual of Arsenal fans to have a dig at us for not snapping up Luis Suarez in the summer, seeing how Liverpool made it so easy for us.

We’ll never get him now, eh? Don’t be so sure, as I have a cunning plan.

It seems that ALLEGEDLY Brendan Rodgers may be …erm…. less than fussy when it comes to where he puts his todger. Allegedly.

So, it’s pretty simple really – get some dodgy old tranny to get him pissed, offer £50 million, and Bob’s your Uncle. Or Aunt…

That should do it….

I think we’ll leave it there this week.

It’s not been an ideal week, but like I say, we all have an extra couple of days to get over this, regroup, recover and hopefully come back stronger.

How you choose to fill that time is your choice, of course.

I’m choosing perspective over meltdown.

Next week there will be a Christmas special and knowing me, an over the top, abusive character assassination of Jose “Soapy” Mourinho.

Up The Arsenal

Darren Berry

Follow @DBerry1974

Darren Berry

Islington born and bred, Arsenal through and through.

Published author.

Is Yours Gold? The Arsenal Invincibles Twentieth Anniversary – available now,

Over Land and Sea (and Lockdown), Arsenal 20/21 – The Corona Diaires – released 2021.

Clickbait: Life as a Modern Football Fan – released 2019