‘Olivier Giroud’s not up to it, Mesut Ozil’s a flop, and I’m an Arsenal fan who needs to be put in my place’

DB’s Season Diary Week 31

Ozil Everton

Remember last week, when all we wanted was a full strength team against Everton to put us through to the semi final of the FA Cup?

Remember when we weren’t too bothered about the second leg in Munich, as we were never going to win the Champions League anyway?

Remember when all we wanted to do was go to Munich, not get hammered and come away with no injuries?

Well, as Meatloaf once said, two out of three ain’t bad. He also said “I’m dying at the bottom of the pit in the blazing sun”, mind you. They play that one in our physio room I believe. More on that later though.

Mesut Fucking Özil’s (I’m still calling him that, fuck you Ashton) injury aside, I don’t see why we can’t be satisfied with where we’re at and just move on. Yes, this highlights that we’re a way off of being able to top teams like Bayern Munich at the moment, but you knew that last week so stop pissing and whining over it now. It makes you look like you enjoy it, and it’s boring.

“Giroud is not good enough at this level”

“Yeah but I bet you were kissing his arse when he scored those two goals against Everton”

“No I wasn’t, I’ve always said he was shit, and I’ll always stick by that”

Well, bravo. Have a biscuit.

Speaking of boring, the post Bayern talk was all about the media reaction to our defeat, in particular the slating of Mesut Fucking Özil (kiss my ring, Ashton, you rancid clunge).

There are two main ways of reacting to this, both of which I understand, to be honest.

The first is to get wound up over it and tear into these fuckwits, the second is to ignore them and not give them the attention they so crave. The ideal way though, is somewhere in between in my opinion.

We have had this for years now, so you either get used to it or you say enough’s enough, this is getting out of hand now.

First and foremost it’s probably best not to click on any of this crap, that’s exactly what they want, after all. This is easier said than done, because we are so proud of our club we don’t want to let this go on without standing up for ourselves at least. Nowt wrong with that.

How about we allocate one person from Twitter each time it happens to click on these articles and screenshot it for the rest of us? I’ve not clicked on any links, as I’ve not even needed to. Once someone mentions what has been said that’s enough for you to gauge what’s going on. Like I say, it’s nothing new. I refuse to click on anything like this even for research purposes. Pete Townshend will tell you this is never really a good idea.

My second piece of advice would be if you need to react, then try with mocking rather than outrage. I mean, if you look at what they’ve said and think about it for a moment it’s easy to see how fucking ridiculous it is.

There is nothing more satisfying in life than making a stupid cunt look like a stupid cunt. Especially when they look even stupider and more cuntier when they try to wriggle out of it.

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain Bayern

Hinting just after the game that Özil had done his hamstring was just an excuse for a poor display, only to have to backtrack after it’s revealed he has done it, and rather badly? Great work chaps!

It’s as embarrassing as it is pathetic and, again as much as I understand it, a full scale outrage just gives them a way out. Call them cunts, laugh at them, move on.

They probably don’t even believe what they are writing anyway, which shows them as the attention seeking whores they are, and why they don’t have a proper job. Like Paris Hilton.

Ignore them for long enough and it won’t be long before a video surfaces on the internet of Neil Ashton fellating Jose Mourinho.

Filmed by Brendan Rodgers.


Having said that, and going back to my original point again, I do get why people are so annoyed about this – I’ve been known to do so myself – and if you choose to react with all guns blazing outrage then good luck to you.

What I don’t like to see so much is people being chastised for doing so. You’re free to react however you choose, and seeing us arguing amongst ourselves about them is another thing they would be happy to achieve, like vultures circling above a mortally wounded animal.

Which leads me nicely to the next talking point this week, namely the debate about our injury record and what or who is responsible for it.

Not something I want to go into too much myself, as I’m neither qualified nor informed enough to comment on it.

I’m sure Twitter or some mad Dutch bloke will fill you in on it anyway.


Well, as I write this on the eve of The Most Important North London Derby Since The Last One (notice how we seem to say that pretty much every time we play them now, even though they’re still shit?), you can pretty much disregard everything you’ve just read. I have, and I wrote it.

What I mean is, come North London Derby day, nothing else matters. It’s the same for them I’m sure but they’re massive cunts, so fuck them.

They need to get over the fact they are having a little struggle in the Euro Disney league while their Arsenal-supporting, gilet-wearing, slightly avian looking gimp of a chancer nicking a living as a manager cunt has a documented nervous breakdown, we will put ourselves massively back into the title chase, after Mr Stinky and his little horse were hilariously beaten by Villa, with that dirty little shit Ramires FINALLY getting a red card, and the trampy looking whore making a proper cock of himself.

As I wrote that, something just occurred to me – imagine being one of those cunts. We had a little midweek meltdown over going out of the Champions League to the European champions, the best team around at the moment, managed by Pep Guardiola, and have a chance to put ourselves close to having the destination of the premier league title in our hands, albeit with some tough obstacles to overcome on the way.

They….well, they are Tottenham.

My NLD nerves started kicking in big time hours ago, around the same time my wife reminded me that my boy’s friend will be visiting while the game is on. This means one of two things will happen, either I will be on my best behaviour, like any responsible parent would, or my boys friend will be asking his parents who Mike Dean is, and what is a “cunting fucking scum shit cunt Tottenham bastard?”

I’m not a gambling man, but I know where my money would be there.

I’ll leave it there for now, and whatever you read after this, whatever the result, just think of it like this – win, lose or draw, at least we are not Tottenham. And Tottenham are cunts…

Due to time constraints, I am unable to cover the game itself, but my money would be on us to win 1-0, with a screamer from Tomas Rosicky after less than two minutes, and Tim Sherwood to be questioned by police after the game for assaulting a gilet…

Rosicky Spurs

Up The Arsenal.

Darren Berry

2 Responses to ‘Olivier Giroud’s not up to it, Mesut Ozil’s a flop, and I’m an Arsenal fan who needs to be put in my place’

  1. Djofils March 17, 2014 at 3:49 pm #

    This is one amazing post. Thank you.

  2. sasurai March 20, 2014 at 3:39 pm #

    great article, well what can you say… arsenal is shite.. :E

    imho, should’ve put some kind of “rated R” on this tho.
    a bit concern for the youngsters who read this..

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