The Daily Arsenal – with Durham
It’s Talksports weekly meeting & everyone is at a bit of a loss.
Durham pipes up;
“Look guys, the season is over, transfer window is still shut & World Cup is a couple of weeks away. What are we gonna discuss? I haven’t laid into Arsenal for over a week now & frankly, it’s killing me.”
Andy Gray, who’s hanging out at the back of the room, chirps up;
“Get Stewart Robson on the phone, he’s always good for a sound bite , he’s knows his stuff about The Arsenal.”
Talksport’s Guru of Arsenal – Robson!!
Richard Keys, who’s the acting receptionist these days, jump on the phone, hits speed dial 1 & waits for Stewart to answer,
“Stewart, is that you? It’s Richard Keys here, we need some unbiased Arsenal gossip, sorry I meant news for the drive time show. Got any ITK info’ you can pass on?”
“Well funny you should ask” chirps the EX-Arsenal TV employee, “You know me, I’ve always got an inside track on Arsene & The Arsenal. I used to play for them, so my point of view & knowledge is always invaluable & infallible”
Durham interrupts;
“Yes, yes, whatever, we know, come on, spit it out, we’ve got a radio station? to run here”
“Well as you know, Adrian, back in June I informed you all that I, Stewart Robson, wouldn’t trust Arsene Wenger with the war chest and that I wasn’t expecting any marquee signings at Arsenal,”
Andy Grey interjects;
“Didn’t they sign Mezut Özil, like, one the best players in the world?”
One of the best players in the World!
“That is one view point Andrew, anyway, back to me, in July, I, Stewart Robson, advised that The Arsenal needed a strong backbone & they should forget chasing Lars Bender & do everything to sign Fellani”
Keys looks up from his latest copy of Reader’s Wives & comments;
“But he was shite in a shite United side”
But Fellaini was Shite!
“Again Richard, you can take that view on the situation, but I stand by my comments. Arsenal should sign Fellani. And while we are talking about the midfield, as I said in February, Mezut Özil is not worth a place in the team and it’s down the Wenger’s training & instructions”
At this stage, Alan Brazil rocks up to the meeting, having just been kicked out the Dog & Duck.
“That’s a bit harsh Stewart, it’s his first season. Give the guy a break”
Ignoring the interruption, Robson ploughs on;
“And another thing, Wilshere must leave Arsenal, he’s not improving, that’s Wenger’s fault too”
“Jesus Stewart, even I think that’s over the top”, Adds Durham, “He’s been injured most of the season & he’s made the England squad. You can’t ask much more than that.”
Injured and still back for WC
Still unperturbed by negative feed back, Robson flows into his latest Arsenal insight;
“Anyway, look, If I was holding the purse strings, the first thing I would do is bring in Antonio Conte as my new manager. He’s the best coach in Europe. Arsenal have gone backwards over the last few seasons & it’s because the club has been stunted by Arsene Wenger.”
Andy Grey, nearly chokes on his afternoon vodka & ironbrew;
“Oh come on Stewart, that’s a bit much, even for your bitter & twisted mind. I mean, didn’t Arsenal just win the FA Cup under Arsene?
Stewart, are you still there?
FA Cup Winners 2014
……………………
Stewart? …………………………..
Guys, I think he’s just hung up !!!”
English by birth, Australian by choice. Traffic Engineer, Arsenal ST Holder, Sun DreamTeam Winner, Writer on @GunnersTown, Depeche Mode, Welcome to my world…
Is this actually real
haha, excellent!