Have Coq, Will Mass Debate; Plus Arsenal’s Winning Formula Revealed


It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote, and Arsenal’s fine form has continued, a run that currently stands at eight straight Premier League wins, with Arsenal sitting in second place in the Premier League, and one win away from a second successive FA Cup Final.

In fact, it’s due to this fantastic run of form that it’s taken me so long to produce this piece.

This run of form has been so great that I decided to take some time to analyse how it’s come about.

There are so many factors to take into consideration here, and they all need to be looked at separately, and then painstakingly pieced together before we can get to the bottom of it all.

I won’t go into all of it here as, well, it’s boring. Instead I’ll cover what I consider to be the two key factors, which are also two popular talking points….

The Biggest Influence - Not the Biggest Coq!

This mass debate is making my head hurt!


Firstly, there is the emergence of Francis Coquelin as a major figure in this recent run of great results.

Now, the most important thing here is not to appreciate the fact that Coquelin’s playing so well, but how his recall from Charlton and subsequent inclusion in the squad came about in the first place, and more importantly, who is right.

I would say that there is no right or wrong answer, but if too many people came to that conclusion then there would be too much contentedness, and let’s face it, nobody wants that. The

So, let’s look at the key questions in the Big Coq Measuring Contest….

Who gets the credit?

How much credit should the manager get for a player that he had shipped off to Charlton’s emergence as a force in our midfield?

Would he now be sitting on Charlton’s bench scratching his nuts if our midfield injury crisis hadn’t reached the point that we had no other option?

Why did Arsene send him to Charlton anyway? Was it because he saw something in him and wanted him to go out and get some game time and experience, rather than thrust him in at the deep end?


The second talking point revolves around whether this run of form signifies any improvement from last season.

For this, I decided to put together a little formula (I was just going to use my eyes, but where’s the fun in that?) which takes into consideration our current league position compared to this point last season, results against the big sides, results against the small sides, and results against the rest of the sides.
This was multiplied by the amount of money spent in the summer, divided by the square root of the amount spent by other sides.

This makes about as much sense as any other comparison I saw going around, and once again saved me simply using my eyes.

The outcome, fascinatingly, was the same answer to both of these key questions:



I found there was also a correlation between how many times I hear these questions and the number of fucks I give.

Conclusion – I will continue to watch football with my eyes, and form my opinions that way.
I will enjoy Arsenal winning football matches, regardless of how or why.

I’m not saying this is the right way, and if your choice is to do the opposite then fair play to you, have a biscuit.

Tales From the Treatment Room – with Mikel and Mathieu

An empty treatment room at Arsenal…..I will leave you to insert your own jokes here!

We felt this occasion was worthy of a celebration, so we had a little party the day before we all played for the under-21’s.
We got Abou big cake which was modelled on the board game “Operation”, divided into pieces that were shaped by every part of the body he has had injured.
Once we had finished with it, we sent some of the younger players out to distribute the rest to the local homeless people.
We hired a refrigerated lorry to carry it all, and it should last them until at least October.

Jack managed to smuggle in some WKD’s, but we all agreed that was a bad idea and left him to it.

It’s been a long road to recovery for some of us, and it’s been a pleasure sharing it with you!

A big game on Saturday, and I’m hoping the lads can do the business without me, so I can fulfil my dream this year of “doing a Vermaelen…..”


That’s all from me too, I was going to talk about the semi-final, but after last year I’m quite honestly shitting myself.

Anyway, here’s hoping we can make it a second successive FA Cup Final appearance.

Up The Arsenal

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