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Exclusive: how Arsenal’s new transfer policy beat the Chelsea hijack machine

Following Chelski’s hijacking of the Mudryk signing, Arteta called an emergency meeting with Edu.

My mate’s nan’s cat-sitter’s, brother-in-law overheard the conversation and sent me the transcript.

MA: “Ed, have you heard, Chelski have dismantled their scouting department and are now just bidding £20m extra on anyone we bid on”

Edu: “ FFS, I thought they were up to something. They nicked Felix, now Mudryk, what are we gonna do?”

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MA: “Well, I’ve got a new thought process, let’s just not bloody tell anyone who we are interested in. Don’t tell the ITKs. Don’t leak it to the press. Don’t tell the cleaner. No-one. It’s pretty simple really”

Edu: “Hey, that could be an approach worth trying. Let’s see how it plays out”

1 week later Mikel reconvenes the meeting.

MA: “Ed, I bloody well told you it would work. We got Trossard and Kiwior in and Boehly didn’t even get a sniff.”

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“Now, got get me Moussa Diaby and I’ll stop bothering you”

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Edu (sheepishly): “Yes boss”

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