Our Last 9, Our Last 9 undefeated…..Annoying People The Arsenal Way, Where the hell is Theo Walcott, and what have you done with him, Wenger?
Plus…Wenger and Mourinho on Twitter
So, three wins in a week, and going into the International break just two points off of the top of the table spot occupied by champions-elect Manchester City, with a decent run of winnable (I know, I KNOW…..) games after the break.
That’s nine games unbeaten, including winning our last five in a row, since the opening day defeat at home Liverpool.
I think most of us would have bitten your arm off for that after that first game eh?
The most satisfying thing for me this week though isn’t the scintillating football we played against Chelsea and Basel, nor the controversial last-gasp, injury time winner at Burnley, not even the fact that we keep getting away with apparently playing a ringer at number 14….
No, the best, and most satisfying, thing for me about the run that we’ve been on is that is seems to annoy the f**k out of people.
I say people, I mean mainly click-bait whore journalists, Chelsea, Spurs and Man United fans and, most recently something called #TwitterClarets (me neither….)
The win over Chelsea even managed to annoy a Chelsea supporting South African born ex-England cricketer, as Kevin Pietersen teetered dangerously on the brink of Micky Hazard territory for days afterwards.
We outdid ourselves at Burnley though, and the only way that injury-time-suspect-handball-after-playing a-bit-rubbish-winner could have caused more outrage was if Kos had knocked it in by swinging a new-born kitten at it.
In front of its mother.
If there’s nothing more satisfying than a last minute winner, then it’s run close by watching everyone losing their sh*t about it all around us, safe in the knowledge that we couldn’t care less if a goal comes off of Laurent Koscielny’s hand or Petr Cech’s helmet, as long as we’re winning and everyone else is annoyed about it.
If there were a league table for annoying people by winning, then we ourselves would be Champions Elect by now.
A quick search of “Arsenal cheating” on Twitter for the next few days tells you all you need to know about exactly how much piss was boiled by that win at Burnley.
Let’s just carry on winning games in the last minute with dodgy goals, taking selfies in the dressing room, and generally getting on peoples tits, I say. I don’t generally like people that much anyway.
If Arsene and Jose had Twitter*
Nothing sums up more how Arsenal annoy people by looking at Mourinho’s obsession with Arsene Wenger.
Wenger seems to have been getting up his nose simply by existing.
Not just when Mourinho was doing his best to get himself the sack from the same job for the second time, making a complete knob of himself at the same time either, but even when Chelsea were winning titles under him.
In this case, I think it’s clear that Jose is that spoilt little dick at school that gets everything they want, but takes an instant dislike to any kid that isn’t just a little c**t like he is.
Cast your mind back to the eve of the Chelsea game, and you might recall there was a big kerfuffle caused by some quotes from “The Special One” that I didn’t bother reading properly from a book written about him or something, by some bloke whose name I didn’t bother taking any notice of.
Imagine if they had Twitter……
@THE_Special_1 – Would love to see #Wenger outside of football and break his face #mug
@RandomBumLickingJourno1 – @THE_Special_1 BEEF!!!!!!! @OFFICIAL_1AW1986
@RandomBumLickingJourno2 – @THE_Special_1 LMAOOOOOOOOO!!!!
@RandomBumLickingJourno3 – @THE_Special_1 LOOOOOOOOOL!!!! Mate……. @OFFICIAL_1AW1986 just got *fire emoji x 10*
@RandomBumLickingJourno4 – @THE_Special_1 CRYINGGGGGG!!!! *crying laughing emojo x 20*
@GaryLineker – SHOTS FIRED!!! @OFFICIAL_1AW1986
@Random_Tweeter1 – @GaryLineker SHATS FIRED!!!
@Random_Tweeter2 – @GaryLineker Shat on Wenger
@Random_Tweeter3 – @GaryLineker Shat
@Random_Tweeter4 – Grass @GaryLineker
@Random_Tweeter5 – @Random_Tweeter4 @GaryLineker Shat on grass
@SanctimousTwitterPonce – @Random_Tweeter1 how old are you? Grow up!
@Random_Tweeter6 – @GaryLineker Shat
@Random_Tweeter1 – @SanctimousTwitterPonce shat on growing up
@OFFICIAL_1AW1986 – I see “the special one” is talking about me again. *snoring emoji*
@PiersMorgan – at least have the balls to @ him mate @THE_Special_1
That’s pretty much what all this is isn’t it? Some bum-licking journo coaxes a quote out of Mourinho about Wenger, the rest of them pipe up and make a big song and dance about it, and Arsene laughs it off.
That’s how I see it anyway.
Where the hell is Theo Walcott, and what have you done with him, Wenger?
Going back to my earlier (light-hearted!) point about playing a ringer at number 14; I jest, of course, but I can’t be the only Arsenal fan surprised with the way Theo Walcott has been playing this season. Pleasantly surprised, I hasten to add.
I myself have written Theo off more times than I can remember, and I’ll be more than happy to be proven wrong if he carries on like this.
I’m not against criticising a player if he’s been poor in the past, and you can still praise a player if you’ve done so, no matter how much those who’ve “always believed in him” would have you consigned to the box labelled “haters” for evermore.
(I spent the week before Anfield ’89 slagging Michael Thomas off, so I’ve paid my dues in that respect.)
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing I dislike more than those blatant flip-floppers that change their “opinions” purely to fit in with what they think everyone wants them to think this week.
Actually, there are loads of things I dislike more than them, as they’re not relevant enough for me to waste too much of my ire on them.
Squirrels for one thing.
Can’t flipping stand the little bastards.
They make me nervous.
Does anyone else get the feeling that when one of them is looking at you, he’s planning the quickest way he could kill you? Or get hold of your nuts?
Sorry, I’ve digressed somewhat there.
Of course Theo has had purple patches before, and the more cynical among us have suggested these seem to come during certain stages of his contract, but something seems different about him this season.
He seems like he’s woken up a bit, or something.
Whether it’s missing out on the Euros that has either given him a kick up the arse or the chance to have a decent rest given that he’s suffered more than his fair share of injuries over the years, I don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t really matter either.
And it’s this Theo situation that reminds me of the Arsenal situation in general.
One of the problems with us football supporters; we’re often quick too busy accusing someone of living in the past, or predicting that everything will go tits up a few months down the line that we sometimes neglect enjoying the present.
Maybe this is the season that Theo finally fulfils that potential he’s had all along, just in time for him to ensure he doesn’t end up on the bench for his own testimonial.
Or, maybe this time next month we’ll have to send out a search party for him again, only to find him hiding behind the full-back.
Maybe we will only pick up a couple of points from and half a dozen injuries from that apparently winnable run of games coming up , as the curse of November grips us once more, and all of those that “told us so” can bask in the “satisfaction” of being right all along.
Or, maybe this is even the season that things finally click, when we’ve finally found those pieces in the jigsaw that have been down the back of the sofa for twelve or so years.
The thing is, there’s a whole lotta maybe going on right there.
So, maybe, the best thing to do is just take it one game at a time and enjoy the good moments while they’re there, because you don’t need me to tell you that as an Arsenal fan you never know what’s gonna happen next.
And I think deep down, that’s what we love about football.
So, buckle up………and all aboard the Arsenal Rollercoaster!
Have a good international break, and let’s hope none of ours come back from it with limbs hanging off.
Up The Arsenal.
Islington born and bred, Arsenal through and through. Supported the Gunners for all of my 46 years (so far!) through thick and thin.
Clickbait: Life as a Modern Football Fan – released 2019
Currently working on my next book – Over Land and Sea (and Lockdown), Arsenal 20/21 – A Diary of a Season – due for release Summer 2021.
I will back the club I have in my blood to the hilt and I don’t care what you think about that. UTA.
AGAINST MODERN FOOTBALL.