Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Burnley.
At Turf Moor.
12.30pm kick off.
During a normal season, this wouldn’t be the most attractive of fixtures to begin your weekend with.
For some reason though, I’m not feeling as worried about this one as I usually would.
I’m sure the fact that we beat Leicester away at the same time last week has something to do with it, but it’s not just that. This kind of fixture doesn’t seem to have the same “edge” as it usually would, were there fans in the stadium.
Especially Burnley fans. 90 minutes of constant booing and moaning. To me, they’re the epitome of going to football to vent the rage that your miserable existence burdens you with. Maybe that’s a good thing in some ways, rather than letting them loose on society. I don’t know. Either way, it’s a lot less painful with the sound turned off.
I suppose BT Sport could simulate the real thing by piping in constant booing and whining for the fake crowd noise. It would be interesting to see whether it would be that or “Fletch” and Mcmananamanaman that makes you want to launch the TV out of the window first.
Out the window
All in all, I think on this occasion, behind closed doors football isn’t such a bad thing. Plus, officiating this season has been bad enough as it is without a few thousand frustrated northerners baying for blood at every opportunity to make it worse.
Saturday 6th March 2021
Burnley 1 Arsenal 1
Raging. Absolutely raging, mate.
I’m so raging that every time I write another paragraph, Microsoft Word is putting dotted blue lines all over the shop warning me that “this language may be offensive to your reader”. Well, I tell you what, Microsoft Word can do one as well.
RAGING.
“Officiating this season has been bad enough as it is without a few thousand frustrated northerners baying for blood at every opportunity to make it worse….”
What idiot said that?
Let’s get this straight from the outset; some of my rage is directed at the Arsenal players. It’s hard to argue that this game should have been put to bed in the first half.
If you’ve been watching Arsenal for longer than five minutes, you will be so familiar with phrases such as these that you hear them in your sleep….
“We really need to put these chances away….”
“That’s what happens when you don’t put your chances away….”
“We really need to learn how to finish teams off….”
“We just aren’t clinical enough….”
“I hate football and I want to die….”
That kind of thing.
Easier to score
After Saka somehow managed to miss from a couple of yards out, that old “we’ve seen this movie before” feeling began to swell inside.
A quick look on Twitter confirmed as much, with “This has got Wolves written all over it….” a common theme.
In some ways, I think this has become somewhat of a defence mechanism for Arsenal fans. As if it softens the blow when the inevitable happens.
As much as I was worried that those missed chances would come back and bite us on the backside, I felt that we would score one of them eventually and if we did, we would go on to win comfortably.
We started very brightly with Aubameyang putting us ahead on 6 minutes with a lovely piece of skill and finish and, despite a bit of huffing and puffing, Burnley never really troubled us for most of the first half. We were pretty much in complete control of the game.
Then, on 39 minutes, something happened that could only be described as “Arsenal”.
Leno gave the ball to Xhaka in our area, and to say Xhaka had a “brain fart” would be extremely generous.
This was the most explosive of brain farts.
The kind of explosive flatulence that is so bad that you have to wipe your back afterwards.
Xhaka’s brain completely shat itself.
I don’t really want to relive it (especially after giving myself that image), but just in case you’ve buried the memory deep down in the dark place by the time you read this; he went to pass to Luiz, across his own goal, it hit their player and went in.
Schoolboy stuff.
Brain fart
And very, very “Arsenal”.
In complete control of the game. Check.
Hatful of missed chances. Check.
Humungous cock-up at the worst possible time. Check.
We weren’t wrong when we said this one had Wolves written all over it!
We are just so Arsenal.
At least we still had eleven men left on the pitch this time, though…..
…. which made absolutely no difference whatsoever. Especially when Burnley could call on their twelfth man. Not the frustrated baying mob in the stadium, but a special friend they had behind the scenes. Kevin Friend, to be precise.
You’ve all seen it.
You won’t see a more stonewall penalty if you carry on watching football for a thousand years.
Okay, if you were being incredibly generous, you could just about give the referee a pass for not giving it straight away. (Again, I must stress this is being extremely generous!)
After all, they now have the technology to rectify such mistakes, don’t they?
Well, yes, they do have the technology but, unfortunately, what they also have are the same incompetent, inept and downright useless shower using it.
Pardon my language, but I’m not sure how this point can be put across without it.
We can argue and debate this until the cows come home, but for me the bottom line is this; Kevin Friend watched the same replay on VAR as we watched on the TV and decided that was not a penalty. If anyone has a reasonable explanation for that, I’m more than happy to hear it.
I’ve said this before (very recently!), I’ll say it again; this is an insult to every single football fan in the country.
We were actually awarded a penalty late on which was overturned, rightly, by VAR, as the ball struck the same players shoulder when he cleared off the line. The red card shown by the ref was also overturned, obviously.
So, look at it this way; without VAR, we would have been awarded a penalty that wasn’t a penalty, with Burnley being reduced to ten men.
With VAR, we were denied what was a clear penalty, despite it being looked at again by VAR.
On what planet can that possibly make any sense whatsoever??
I’m not going to sit here talking about conspiracy theories or corruption, but the more this happens, the more these theories will flourish, especially when the explanations are often more far-fetched than the conspiracy theories. Fox Mulder would have a field day with the PGMOL.
Just to put the icing on the cake, a big soggy cake made from poo, Ceballos hit the post with what was almost the last kick of the game.
How very, very Arsenal.
Sometimes, I just hate football.
After the game, and for at least the following 24 hours, we were all raging. This is the kind of rage that has you waking up with the rage the next day.
Raging.
If this were a normal season, I wouldn’t have been at Turf Moor venting my fury at the officials, but at least if I was in the pub, I would have been able to vent with like-minded individuals. Or just some bloke that had come in for a quiet pint but had decided to humour me. Either way, it’s better than being just some bloke shouting at my TV in the front room and arguing with people on social media.
I could only imagine what it would’ve sounded like in I’m surprised I couldn’t hear the boos from my front room. Even over the expletive ridden outburst that had lasted pretty much from the second that penalty wasn’t given, right through to listening to Joe Cole’s stupid Joe Swash voice in the studio.
I don’t even know what he said. It’s difficult to take any “pundit” seriously at the best of times, let alone one who sounds like his balls haven’t dropped yet.
Squeaky
What else can you do, though? This is the life of the football supporter for the moment.
Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.
Should we be concerned about what might happen when we’re uncaged? Are we all just going to run out into the street screaming like bloody lunatics the minute that bloke that used to be in Have I Got News For You lets us?
That’s a scary thought.
Especially if you live in Burnley.
If there is any reason for nudging this roadmap thing along a bit, it’s the thought of twenty thousand of them running through the streets booing like lunatics.
The sooner we get our lives back, the better, so do all of us a favour; wear a mask, wash your hands, get your jabs, do as your told and behave yourselves.
We are within touching distance now, people.
The thought of another season like this is terrifying!
If nothing else, do it for the people of Burnley.
As for Arsenal, we are on the eve of what is a (as much as I hate the term) season defining week, with the North London Derby sandwiched between two legs of a rare European tie against Olympiacos. I don’t think I’m wrong in suggesting we owe both of those a beating.
The nerves are starting to kick in now. Normally, having a midweek game before the NLD can help take your mind off of it, but given that it’s such an important one, it’s doing the opposite.
I apologise in advance to my neighbours. This is going to be a loud one.
Until next week.
Up The Arsenal.
Islington born and bred, Arsenal through and through.
Published author.
Is Yours Gold? The Arsenal Invincibles Twentieth Anniversary – available now,
Over Land and Sea (and Lockdown), Arsenal 20/21 – The Corona Diaires – released 2021.
Clickbait: Life as a Modern Football Fan – released 2019
I’m not suggesting that Xhaka avoids any blame for the goal but my beef is just as much with Leno. A hermit living in a cave who has never watched football knows that Xhaka has no right foot. So why does Leno pass in his own box (1) to Xhaka, (2) when pressure is being applied by the opposition and (3) to Xhaka’s right side. Totall brainless decision by someone who would be well aware of Xhaka’s limitations.
Hi Mike
Maybe it is due to the fact that the coach punishes whoever’s does not follow his instructions bindly like Matinelli, Guendouzi, Sokratis, Saliba, Nketiah, etc.
You have to be a very good boy like Willian to be able to play week week out even if you are a total shit.