Distribution: Strictly limited to clubs, officials, and anyone who can keep a straight face To all participating clubs, Following a comprehensive review of this season’s entertainment objectives, we would like to remind all teams of their civic duty to ensure Manchester City continue accruing points in a manner that creates maximum emotional distress for Arsenal […]
In an act of selfless generosity to football’s most vulnerable oil-backed institution, Arsenal bravely lost to Aston Villa, officially confirming that Manchester City are, unfortunately, champions again. Experts have described Arsenal’s performance as “a decisive intervention to protect City from the emotional hardship of finishing second.” Club insiders confirmed that Arsenal’s 1/3 of a season-long […]
Hello, Arsenal Women aficionados! What a start for our new permanent coach! We had to wait three whole months to finally land our main target, but it was definitely worth the wait, wasn’t it? The club took its time and Renée Slegers held the fort outstandingly while the recruitment process was conducted, but we finally […]
Gunners Town is pleased to feature this guest post by Zach Lowy (@zachlowy) a freelance journalist who writes for various outlets such as Fotmob, RG News and more. —— In July 2019, Manchester City appointed Nicolas Jover as an assistant coach to Pep Guardiola. Having previously spent time as a video analyst for Montpellier, a […]
The Dutch defender had a difficult first season with Arsenal after joining from Ajax in July 2023. His Premier League debut was cut short due to a serious injury, forcing him to miss most of the season. But rather than dwell on the frustration, Timber used this time away from the pitch to regenerate his […]
As the Premier League 2024/25 season kicks off, Arsenal find themselves in a familiar yet challenging position—poised to mount a serious challenge for their first league title in 21 years. Their opening 2-0 victory against Wolves at the Emirates Stadium was a solid, if unspectacular, start, showcasing the resolve and determination that manager Mikel Arteta […]
Hello, Arsenal Women aficionados! Here comes the first issue of the Arsenal Women Journal for the season 2024/25. I hope you all had a good summer and are now ready to go for what could be a make-or-break season for Jonas Eidevall and some of his players. The official start of the season is still […]
In a bombshell development last night it was revealed that Manchester City and their Abu Dhabi owners are declaring civil war and taking unprecedented action in the High Court against the Premier League. If they win the case then the Premier League is finished. If clubs funded by oil states like Manchester City are unrestrained […]
The only way to start off this post is to say I was highly skeptical when Havertz was signed. Hell, away with half-truths: I was dead sure Arsenal made a massive mistake. A quick search for “Havertz” from @the_tsar_cannon (my Twitter handle) will result in stuff like this: August, after a narrow win over Crystal […]
Good morning, Arsenal Women aficionados! Our dear Arsenal Women team didn’t take the pitch this weekend, yet I felt the urge to put together this blog because 1) Tottenham were battered in the FA Cup final and 2) the club shocked the women’s footballing world with two massive announcements in the space of 24 hours. […]
