Daniel Nice Tackle Messiah Welbeck (bloody auto correct!) He’s not the messiah; he’s a very naughty boy! Danny: I’m not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly! Tabloid press: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity. Danny: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? Alright! […]
DOCTOR AND THE MEDICS Colin Lewin and (Doctor) Gary O’Driscoll are sat in the London Colney medical centre, drinking their morning coffee, waiting for the usual Monday influx. At 8.30am there’s a knock at the door; the Doctor looks at Colin; “Bet you a fiver, it’s Abou” “Not a chance, you pull that one every […]
Welcome to Your Local AHA meeting In a small church hall in Cheshire, a group of dishevelled men sit in a circle, eating rich tea biscuits and drinking tea. Everyone goes quiet when a small ginger guys stands up to speak. “Hi may name is Paul and I’m an addict, an Arsenal Hating Addict.” “Hi […]
Welcome To The Arsenal Arms It’s my sixth season of self-enforced exile from my spiritual home at The Emirates and finally I’ve got my lazy arse in gear and joined Arsenal Australia. This also coincided with the official opening of Arsenal Australia’s new Sydney base; ‘The Arsenal Arms’ at the Croydon Park Hotel. And I […]
Reasons to be Cheerful, maybe? Words by TheSundayMorningGooner, music by Ian Dury and The Blockheads (If you don’t know the original, check it out here http://youtu.be/CIMNXogXnvE ) Reasons to be cheerful, maybe? Reasons to be cheerful 1, 2, 3 Good summer jolly, more transfer folly Good golly, Miss Molly and high, high hopes To replace Bacary, we sign […]
The Power of Three So, it’s Tuesday 26th August and the bloody annoying transfer window finally shuts at 11pm on 1st September. I have come to the conclusion that, who, if and when we sign someone, it could be out of Arsenal’s control and in the unlikely hands of the following three individuals: 1 – Slaven […]
Wanted! Wanted: Centre Back/Defensive Midfielder A top Premier League club currently has a vacancy for a Centre Back/Defensive Midfielder. Due to recent set-backs and current timescales, this position has been re-advertised as a dual role. The applicant must show adaptability to be able to undertake the duties of both roles and be able to Interchange […]
To those recently departed; Oh Captain, My Captain. This piece was originally run back in June, but now it’s been confirmed that another Arsenal captain has upped sticks and crept off to join Arselona, I thought I would update it. “O Captain! My Captain! Our fearful trip is done; The ship has weathered every rack, […]
Now Puma have taken over the 20 year reign of Nike as the Vic Akers favourite accompaniment with Bold 2 in 1, I thought I’d have a look back at ‘My Arsenal Life In Nike’. May 1997 – Worn with pride, whilst sat in the pub in Dorchester, watching Wrighty bang in a couple against […]
Still Expecting Cheques His Talent Can’t Cash! Oh Nicklas, oh Nicklas, Oh wow, you really are ridiculous, All the talent you began to show, Disappeared behind your huge ego, You stayed at Arsenal way too long, Expecting a big deal to come along, And take you away, because in your mind, You’re the greatest striker […]
