O Captain, your subconscious has wrecked my Bentley “O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done; The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring: But O heart! […]
Author Archive | Steve Wellman
The Low down on Patrick Vieira and Project Emirates – Exclusive
The first rule of Project Emirates is… Sheikh Mansour Bin Zayed Al Nahyan Look we can’t get Wenger to be our manager, know matter hope much money I throw at him he just won’t leave Arsenal. He said it had something to do with respect and ‘honoring a contract’. Khaldoon Al Mubarak Well boss, we’ve […]
Exclusive Transcript of Talksport weekly programming meeting for Adrian Durham Drive show
It’s Talksports weekly meeting & everyone is at a bit of a loss. Durham pipes up; “Look guys, the season is over, transfer window is still shut & World Cup is a couple of weeks away. What are we gonna discuss? I haven’t laid into Arsenal for over a week now & frankly, it’s killing […]
Arsene Wenger’s half-time team talk launched Arsenal to FA Cup glory; belief, positivity and emotion
Thanks boys, as usual, it’s been emotional! At half time he told them To just keep believing To just keep their heads And to keep performing This is The Arsenal “Victory through Harmony” Where class, it is permanent And form, it is temporary Where the name on the front Is the one that you play […]
Arsene Wenger played FOOTBALL MANAGER as Arsenal, the results are priceless
Your upgrade from Premier League manager 4.0 could not be completed, do you wish to restart the download Y/N. The Arsenal mainframe met the minimum system requirements of Premier League Manager by securing fourth and Champions League football for 2014/2015. But, again, this wasn’t enough to enable an upgrade from Version 4.0 and we will […]
Arsenal’s returning star FINALLY gets his own Eminem-inspired song
Guess who’s back? Back again? Inspired by his appearance on the bench on Sunday (Just in time for a FA Cup medal and the World Cup?). Lyrics: TheSundayMorningGooner Music: Marshall Mathers Guess who’s back, back again Aboo’s back, tell a friend Guess who’s back, Aboo’s back? Guess who’s back, Aboo’s back? Guess who’s back, Aboo’s […]
Blessing or Curse? Arsenal, United and Liverpool examples of inconvenient Champions League implications
European Football – A blessing and a curse As I am writing this, Liverpool have just secured themselves Champions League football while Manchester United have just been guaranteed not to have Champions League football for next season. As for The Arsenal, well, we are stuck somewhere in the middle, again. Three different teams. Three different […]
Podolski off in the summer, Monreal the new Santos, and Vermaelen heading for Arsenal exit
Questions that need to be answered? We huffed and we puffed and we blew Wigan’s mud huts down. It wasn’t convincing but after 120 minutes, it’s the figures in the top left hand corner that matter! At 5am, after the final whistle and after the team had taken their obligatory celebratory selfie, I was sat […]
Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool, Chelsea and Everton – why can’t Arsenal win away?
Tell me why, we don’t like away days. It’s 12.15am on Monday 7th April 2014, The games just finished, I’m sitting on my sofa, with a coffee in hand, staring at the TV and I’m lost for words, again. And then this tune popped into my head. I don’t know why, I haven’t heard the song […]
Manchester United legend slags off Arsenal but the facts come back to bite him
So, it seems that anyone can get a job on Sky Sports these days and the latest ex-pro not good enough to try his arm at being a pundit is, England deserter and Ginger Henchman, Paul Scholes. In an attempt to ingratiate himself with the masses, he has jumped on the populist bandwagon and dug […]